Jun 3, 2009

a few thoughts about being a slave

I consider myself a slave, slave of Mistress Lexi Leiner , Her property. A slave with privileges though, but nonetheless a slave.

You might now ask: What? A slave? Isn't slavery illegal?

And yes, besides the BDSM context of Safe, Sane, Consensual, slavery is illegal almost everywhere. In some few countries even despite of it.
BDSM means: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, SadoMasochism - and is for some not only a game but a life-style. But nonetheless everything happening in this context is CONSENSUAL - well, at least it's supposed to be, per definition.

Unlike the historical slavery, being a slave in M/s (Master/slave, the intensification of D/s (Dominant/submissive)) relationships have nothing to do with forced obediance, or disconsent. It is a sign of TRUST and LOVE to the Master or Mistress to decide not to be their part-time sub anymore but their 24/7 slave, and means a high degree of COMMITMENT on both sides. It's not only that you as a slave are supposed to be available to serve on every whim of your Master or Mistress, it is also that your Master or Mistress has to be available to serve your need to serve them, and not all of them can handle this RESPONSIBILITY.
And yes, you become property, like a pet - only that you are a human being. And which owner would abandon their pet? Only people who can't handle this responsibility.
To become a slave is a decision of free will, which must be considered thoroughly before going the way. It can become a slippery slope with no return to the former normalcy of being an "emancipated woman" - and without responsible guiding it even might become a mental and emotional dependence, a bondage that binds you more effectively to your Master/Mistress than any chain and restraint can do.

I must say my Mistress is very caring and shows very much responsibility - and until now She doesn't even know about this blog, so it's my real, unaffected opinion ;)
Well, as much as She dislikes to be without me, Her gem, as much She wishes to prevent Her gem from any damage, be it emotionally or otherwise - even from damage She might cause by irresponsible behaviour. We quite often do "girl-to-girl talks" or other "Out of Character" (OOC) things that She can relax from this responsibility for a while.
I try to serve her any way i'm able to, be it running errands, be it listening, be it things like moving stuff around or making textures for boxes, or just sitting there to be shown off... whatever pleases Her, i do. And willingly so.
And when She's not around i try to please Her, to make Her proud of me. **smiles: here's the "good dog" comparison again** (edited to repair the link)

Anyways, since i'm wearing Her collar (means, the collar She gave me, and to which i added Her as Owner), the most content moments during times i did not spend with Her were when other Doms said to me things like "you may tell your Mistress you made her proud" or "if you weren't already owned i would be happy to own you"...

What does it mean to be a slave apart of the status of being property?
Well, it begins with the training. As a trainee sub, i didn't have a collar: i had to use a folder with poses and animations to be able to kneel, to karta, to sit in tower or stand in shacklestand. Poses and animations that sometimes were affected by the AO i was wearing, so i had to switch the AO off while using them - so using each of the poses became a deliberate decision in favor of serving.
Thus, serving as a slave means OBEDIANCE and COMMITMENT to your Master or Mistress: the wish to please them, even despite having no collar that does the poses for you. And since They are in control of your collar, you should be able to 100% TRUST your Master or Mistress. If you can't, leave and search for someone else to surrender yourself to, someone you can trust enough. D/s (and M/s) is not abuse or exploiting, it's a special way of LOVE and DEVOTION.

Then, POLITENESS and RESPECT: As a slave, i am property, so i have to be HUMBLE: a "hi missy, howyadoing" is just wrong.
All non-slaves are Mister and Miss (beginning with upper case M as a sign of respect), or Sir/Master or Miss if they are in the lifestyle.
And especially your Master or Mistress is not just the person in the pub next street, but your Owner, which means much more than your Boss at work, since your boss doesn't own you.
Would you greet your Boss with "Hi, howdy buddy?" - I guess not.

I can say "hi" to my friends when i am dismissed and spend my spare-time, or on PG sims to mix and match - and even with this "OOC talk" it's possible to remain respectful and polite - but when i stroll around on sims that belong to the Life-style, or when i meet people who are into BDSM, i quickly switch into my "IC talk" again, and it's Mister/Sir and Miss until they tell me they don't wish to be greeted this way.
The following is another proof for the way that being a slave means to be always polite and respectful:
[2008/06/06 7:19] jake D**: I am interested in your manner, so polite
[2008/06/06 7:19] eighthdwarf Checchinato: thank you, Mister jake... I'm trying to learn and keep it up.
[2008/06/06 7:20] jake D**: have you found your way into a Dom/sub relationship? I ask as that is very typical in that area.

This happened short before my Mistress decided that i was finished with training, and collared me.
What else does it mean to be a slave: Well, it's not your part to put yourself into attention, but the part of your Mistress or Master - if they wish you to be the center of attention, they will place you there; if they don't, you have to wait until you are called. I got a few times of "kennel time" to learn that lesson well. Don't be over-eager, rather keep PATIENCE and wait for being called. Otherwise you get enough time to wait for being allowed to be in the presence of your Master or Mistress - because this also is a privilege they give you.

Speaking of privileges: since i installed the RLV, i can call everything exept the ability to log off and on a privilege my Mistress allows me to have and easily could take away. I am under Her total control, every single moment i spend in SL. The RL expression for it is TPE, Total Power Exchange: i gave my Mistress total power over me, she can take all abilities away from me if she likes, even the ability to chat or receive messages, or see names and locations, to see at all, to hear, to tp or to access my inventory - to name only a few.
And my Mistress doesn't have to proof anymore that i can trust Her, i wouldn't have installed this viewer after long consideration if i hadn't trusted Her back then.

By the way, in a few days i've been in Her service for 13 months. And guess what? I never regretted even one day that i submitted to Her.
Yes, i really love my Mistress.


  1. Very well said girl. It's good to see blogs like this. Too many vanilla's see our lifestyle choice as abuse. You bring honor to your Mistress *smiles*

    Matt Donardson

    1. Thank you very much, Sir.

      But i always do my best to make my Mistress proud even if She never learns what i'm doing - especially because She was it who made me aware of my desire to serve in the first place, even though i've been serving my Mistress in the virtual realms of SL only. And yes, i still do - and with now almost four years since my submission in May '08, this my relationship to my Mistress is one of the longest D/s relationships i've ever heard or read about inworld. The vast majority of such relationships end within about half a year, to my experience.

      But if it hadn't been for my Mistress, and the knowledge and experience She encouraged me to gain outside of SL as well, i would never have dared to try live the lifestyle in Real Life, ever. It was She, with awakening the slave in me, who made me a happier, more confident, and more "whole" person than i've ever been before i met Her. Even if i weren't Her slave anymore, that alone would be reason enough for me to always try and bring honor to Her. She helped me become the person i'm now.