Dec 24, 2010

Unfree, no matter what

In the blog Unfrei, which is written by a really devoted Gorean Kajira roleplayer, I just read a quotation that made me smile.
Can you truly give up the things you need to, to be someone's slave? Would you put yourself last, or even second? If you want something, and you are denied it… can you let it go and trust that it was for the best? Can you learn, relearn, and train even when you feel like it's hopeless? Will you still be a slave, and think of others when your mood sucks? Will you still be a slave even as tears course down your cheeks while you are punished or reprimanded? Will you still feel like being a slave when you are told he doesn't want to have you near him right now? Will you still feel like a slave if he does not touch you when you wish, but when he wishes…. Will you still want to be a slave as you toss and turn at night, your desires unmet because he said no? Will you still want to be a Gorean slave when he decides to give someone else the attention you think you deserve or that you crave?
I realized that I can  answer these questions (even though i would have to replace Master with Mistress, he with she, and discard the word Gorean), all these questions happily with  YES, YES, YES!!!
Since May 08, I've already shown that I am the slave of my Mistress no matter what, and willingly so, andt I will show anytime again that I can do it, that I not only can be, but already and for ever am, for better or worse, my Mistress' slave. - until She decides to disown me.
One last question...
How romantic does slavery sound now?
It doesn't sound romantic at all, that's true. But for me, it feels just right!

Merry Christmas my dear Mistress, and my dear few readers.

Dec 22, 2010

Phoenix Viewer Blog: Final Major Release!

Phoenix Viewer Blog: Final Major Release!: "It's finally here! As promised.. a Christmas Release! Our final major release version 818. \o/ A few things to note... We are no longer pr..."

Dec 10, 2010

a poll and a hunt

Ten days ago I posted in a forum that only a minority would use the viewer 2.x One user asked for proof, like posts and polls and so on. I searched and found only polls from before "Emeraldgate", before the Emerald viewer was forbidden by reason.
The successors Emergence and Phoenix, viewers made by the honest remnants of the former Emerald team, have been unknown at the point of these older polls and surveys. SO I made my own one which closed two days ago .

The result - despite the poll hasn't got as many responders as I hoped - was what I expected. A little over 1/3 of the participants are using Viewer 2, just under 2/3 are using another viewer (viewer 1-based, or "Hybrid" viewers = viewer 1- based, with functions of viewer 2 but the UI of viewer 1.x), and the Phoenix Viewer is the most used one.

A hunt - or rather the SLinside Adventkalender - is happening on my new place today.
"Gem's and Gorkie's Shop Ship" is the place where the visitors can find a little gift until midnight (and maybe until tomorrow morning).

Here's a view inside, from in front of my vendor

My friend Gorkie and I did everything to let winter appear on the place for this one day.

Nov 6, 2010

Reviving the blog (?)

Yes I did neglect this blog, and I was too busy elsewhere.

Actually I am busy writing and drawing, means as long as I am not suffering a creativity block.
I finished "Mirror Visions, Volume 1", which is effectively the same character names and places as in "Involuntary Females", but within an entirely re-written story plot, changed to match a teenage and young adult audience.
I uploaded the prologue and the first chapter as excerpts to my deviantArt account.

In October, I was at the Frankfurt Book Fair, with the help of a friend of mine (you usually only can enter this fair if you are either a published author, an illustrator, or working at a publishers already). And I gave about a dozen of excerpts to about a dozen publishers - including big publishing companies, Random House included. Maybe I'm lucky.
There was though one company that had a similar name to one of the list of publishers I wanted to visit… I later learned that this one was a vanity publisher. At the end of last month I got an offer by them: if I pay between 4.600 and 10.400 Euro (depending on the publishing model) they will publish my book.
Hm. I think I'll never have this amount of money - and if i had, I'd pay other depts with it rather than having my story printed. :P


In SL, many things have changed, and many things stayed the same…
EmeraldGate went through all blogs and forums, so I won't mention it any further here - BUT: I lost good friends because of it, people who I thought were less… hm… irresponsible? Anyway
Precious isn't anymore with me, she's not my slave anymore. I learned that I totally failed at being a Mistress. I may be good at being First Girl (that has to be decided by my Mistress though) but as a Mistress on my own, I'm on the wrong place. Nonetheless, Misty admitted that she had learned much - and she will always remain my dear precious sister.
Both of us made mistakes when she was my girl, which led to our breaking up - but we buried our grudges and forgave each other. We once shared one chain, after all. :)

I still am the slave of my Mistress, Jona's Isle, my piece of land, is now on one of Her sims - and W/we enjoy the rare time W/we can spend together. rare because different time zones and our real lives that we also have to pay our tributes.
Alex, my Gorean Alt, is currently "on pilgrimage" - though mostly on limbo, because I simply have not the time to log-in as her as well. But WHEN I have the time, I visit the different towns in SL Gor, maybe finding another place for a Homestone.

Another alt is shaped a way neither fitiing to my Eighthdwarf nor to my Alex activities: she's handicapped, just like Jona in the former "Involuntary Females" story. Thus I met Gorkie, a one-legged person who is one-legged in RL too. Currently I help her by having built a ship at my island, where she could place her shop into. It was some work to build the trust into her that I won't throw her out, or count each prim she uses, like one "friend" of her did where she had her little shop before. She's a really nice person, and I don't want to miss her.
It's really marvelous to have a friend around who is not into D/s nor treating me as a slave or a Mistress. Actually Gorkie is as loving as my Mistress, just that she and i treat each other on an equal level.

Good bye old old Jona's Isle

Good bye old (though newer) Jona's Isle

Welcome new Gem's Island