or, worrying and home-sick
Today i woke up at around 2:30am, after a real short sleep: If it was one hour, it was long. I was dreaming of Mistress and Onyx and had a feeling that something happened. Again I searched both our backpacks and my purse for the UMTS stick and cursed silently that i forgot it at home. I've never regretted it more, and missed both of them more than ever.
I couldn't fall asleep again immediately, so i went to the kitchen, the only room where smoking is allowed in the entire apartment (and only while its door is closed), smoked a cigarette, and began reading. I so hoped that Misty was okay and still my dear sister Onyx. I would miss her if she gave up or were released tonight. And i especially hoped that my Mistress was well and okay too. I love Her too much to not be bothered if something bad happened.
Nonetheless the book caught me finally and i forgot the time until i heard the door opening: Master Thorin came and wanted to smoke a cigarette as well: it was 7:00am now, and the sun was shining through the open window.
After that we went to bed again, and snuggling into his arms i finally fell asleep. Of course i was grumpy when my parents woke us up for breakfast.
When we accompanied my Dad to a visit at one of his doctors, Thorin was the driver of Dad's car. I went outside for a cigarette, and my Fiancee followed me.
He asked me what i were worried about and i told Him that i was thinking of Mistress and Onyx and that i was worrried that something might have happened. And i told Him that i was sad and angry about myself because i forgot the UMTS stick that could enable us to go on-line. Even though Master Thorin tried to calm me and said it were okay, such things could happen,and that no-one were perfect, i could tell that He was disappointed. Well, of all things He could expect me to think of the only thing that could connect me to one of my addictions: the Internet.
Even when one of my brothers came to see my parents in the afternoon, together with his wife and daughter, i still thought of my Mistress and Onyx, and when my niece talked to me about her past life in SL, i sighed and surprised the girl with telling her my name. *grin*
We've been on each other's friendslist since a few days after i saw her at the Mormon sim Adam-Ondi--Ahman, and we talked a bit about my friends on that place - but she admitted that she left SL lately, and even deleted her account because her SL relationship became a risk for her RL relationship.
This again made me think of my Mistress and Onyx again and i became sad, missing them.
It became impossible to change subject, and we talked until she and her parents left.
In this night i made a loooooong walk alone, and returned after midnight and drunk.
I so look forward to see my Mistress and Onyx again on Saturday: i missed them so much tonight, it literally hurted. Of course i also miss Rubina, and my friends on the Frankfurt sims and elsewhere as well - but not as much as i miss these two.