Some people wonder why I haven't been in SL for so long, and when I was, why it was only for a short time. And why I only post one or two posts in forums approximately per day and forum while it was about a dozen each in the past.
It has a very good reason: my prolonged use of the computer (and I've done nearly everything with on the computer for way more than a decade now: writing, watching TV and videos, listening to music or spoken word, editing pictures, writing, reading, discussing in forums, translating, GIMP, writing, ordering things on the internet, online banking, (did I mention I use to write a lot?), and now SL and the things I do in and about this virtual world) - together with a weakened health which I haven't realized until I got my blood checked --- finally led to the dreaded RSI.
To avoid pain despite prescribed meds against it, I'm damned to work as slow as a snail on the computer, considering all the breaks inbetween: so slow that even this short post took me a half hour so far. Can you imagine what this means for SL where your mouse and your keyboard is (usually) in nearly constant usage? Where you can't even walk without using the keyboard, or build without using the mouse? Where you can't even look around or talk or teleport or whatever without using keyboard and/or mouse?
The last time when I was online, I said "I come back later, when I feel like being up to it".…
… but when you are a writer and illustrator and translator like me, when all your work and creativity is related to WRITING and/or using the computer, AND then you get RSI and in the evening or after your work's done you just want to rest your wrists and do nothing at all for a while, but still reply to posts in forums and have some rest again, then even this beautiful great even more interactive virtual world Second Life you miss so very much becomes a place you avoid. you avoid it simply to avoid the pain that comes by interacting.
I will be back again, but I can't say yet when that will be exactly. Currently I'm glad to just so manage my RL tasks, I even rejected translation jobs because they would have demanded even more typing.
So, being a writer, what do I do without typing? Well, I learned that writing by hand (pen on paper) does not inflict that much pain, so I still can work on my stories or draw illustrations for them, so there is progress (though this progress is very slow, and my waste paper bucket gets full very fast).
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Jul 15, 2011
May 8, 2011
some thoughts about disability in SL
in the previous post I mentioned a friend who spends much of her time to create things for the disabled.
Now since I started to spend some of my time online with a handicapped avatar myself - and I've learned a lot about how people react on some disabilities - I also wondered about the reasons why people in general use handicapped avatars.
It's gonna be long, so there is a short "TL'DR" summary at the end. :)
As I said, I used it to learn about the reactions. One of my characters in "a" story of mine (I don't know yet if this character gets involved in "Mirror Visions part 2" or in another story) is an armless girl, with just little stumps for arms. So, I created an avatar after her.
No, I haven't been active in the Virtual Ability community with her, and at no other amputee places either (though I did visit Club Accessible more often than not), and I also didn't openly pretend to be such handicapped: I even did play a role in a normal town RP, and (using the famous Jessica Cox as a shiny example for an armless person's ability to drive a car (and even to fly an airplane!)), sweet even drove the taxi and the bus there. Who said that handicapped people have no useful ability at all? Or that they have to be considered "dis-abled"?
Anyways: one dear friend of mine is an amputee in RL, and she admitted that it hurt her to see her avatar NOT mirroring her own handicap. She said "I just couldn't stand seeing this avatar with two legs, and then looking at my own stump on the chair below the keyboard" - thus, her avatar very quickly became an amputee like her RL self. Others I've met thanks to the connections of my alt and this friend have been likewise: the handicap of their avatars mirror the handicaps of their RL bodies - no matter if it's the wheelchair, amputation stumps of all sorts, prostheses, braces, thick glasses - or even a scripted seeing-eye dog.
But, not all handicapped people are like them. Many many more with RL handicap don't even consider to mirror their RL handicaps into SL at all. Since everyone can be what ever they want or dream to be, many handicapped people rather prefer to use a "normal", non-handicapped avatar. You'll never know that they are handicapped until they tell you if you meet them at places like Virtual Ability, Club Accessible or others. Maybe the avatar you dance with at the moment, or that escort/dancer on that stage, or your friendly newbie mentor, or the newbie you teach something, or or the kajira in your furs, or the Master you serve in SL actually is a handicapped person in RL? Who knows?
Though - like my alt, not all handicapped avatars are steered by real handicapped people.
"Why that?", you may ask. "Why in all world would someone even want to use a handicapped avatar if they have no handicap in RL?" Well, I'd answer with a grin: "Simply because they can."
Some, for example, do it for role-play reasons.
Whether it's because their RP character gets mutilated during a role-play scenario (like, when thieves get their hand chopped off, or a shark eats the seaman's leg, or someone gets blinded), or because they play a somehow handicapped person within an RP - for them it's important to stay in that role as plausibly and consequently as possible to follow the continuity of their RP. If you want to play your role well, you just play out all consequences of whatever happens to your role, even if it means that your character is handicapped from one RP night on.
Others for example use steam-powered prostheses for their avatars in a steampunk surrounding, or walk around as cyborgs - part human, part machine (which again means that the human part would be massively handicapped without the machine part), so they just as well play a handicapped person, but aren't handicapped for real.
Well, as I stated above, my own alt sweet was created based on a character in my own stories, who is a bilateral arm amputee.
I thought it would have been way too personal to ask a real amputee about their feelings on how others react on them, or how they struggle with such rather non-technical details like: "do I dress this so that my stump(s) can be seen, or rather that to hide it(them)? Which prosthesis goes with which outfit, or will I rather go without? And if I go without, will others think I'm ugly?" I know that's an entire different quality of questions than asking how they'll cope with the everyday obstacles that appear with having stumps or prostheses for arms or legs (or without ability to see or hear) anyways. And I wanted to have my personal POV on it. Thus, sweet was born.
With my alt sweet, I am a rather normal girl who just happens to have stumps instead of arms. And strangely, at most places, people don't even realize sweet's handicap unless I ask them, for example, to open a door (I use RLV with my alt, and disabled "far touch" ), or unless they see me go unusually close to vendors to touch them ("with my feet"), or unless they wonder why my avatar never shows such arm animations, like when others run their hands through their own hair or point at things and so on. But when they finally realize it (which, in Koeln, even took more than an hour) then it's like "WOW, she doesn't have any arms!" - and then the different reactions begin, which others whose handicaps are much more obvious usually have to deal with immediately.
It's really interesting to experience all these reactions, both positive and negative - though some reactions are really bothersome. That's the reactions and comments of the "devotees".
Who or what are "devotees" now, and what do they have to do with this topic?
That's a word for those who feel mainly attracted to handicapped people. Like some of us prefer brunettes or tall people, "devotees" prefer people who have one specific handicap - and for some few of them, this handicap can't be specific enough.
Like for example your ideal beauty may be "a 5ft5inch-tall tomboyish girl with shoulder-long red hair, brown eyes and freckles and a fiercy but submissive character", the ideal beauty of a devotee could be for example "a nice blonde, slim, not too tall woman with two equally 3 inch long, nicely rounded arm stumps and with the scars nicely removed and with ..." - you get the point.
A woman can be thus nice, blonde, slim, not too tall - can even have bilateral arm amputations, but if only one of her stumps is longer or shorter than those 3 inches, she isn't attractive for them.
That's the reason why there are some devotees in SL who create their avatars so that they become their own ideal beauty.
Then, there are those who suffer from BIID, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, a condition which is quite the opposite to the phantom limbs amputees suffer from: They feel that one - or several - of their limbs, despite being attached to their bodies and being fully functional, are "not really a part of their body".
You can compare that to having, for example, a second set of fully functional arms attached to your body: you would realize them as being too much, as disturbing attachments that always get into the way, as being "not really parts of your body" as well. So, of course you would wish they simply weren't there. Some of you might have the desire to be without those arms #3 and #4 entirely. You would pretend that this set of extra arms simply weren't there, you would bind them up or keep them underneath your clothes so you couldn't use them even by reflex (thus, being what is called a "pretender"), and the more daring ones of you would go all ways to finally get them removed at all costs, even by risking your health trying (thus, becoming a "wannabe").
And of course, the Hippocratic Oath and other ethic agreements forbid surgeons to remove healthy limbs (especially if you only have as many limbs as the average person), so these people are bound to suffer from this desire for their entire life, unless they finally manage to somehow get the disturbing limb removed.
In SL though, at least their avatars can look how they feel their own body should look like - with the disturbing limb(s) being removed, or the disturbing ability taken away. Their desires come true - at least virtually.
TL'DR: Handicapped avatars can be (a) people who mirror their own RL handicaps, (b) role-players who just play their role as plausible as possible, (c) devotees who use their avatar as object of their own desire, or (d) people who suffer from BIID.
Based on the people I've met, I'd dare say that those who belong to category (a) are the biggest of the groups, then comes (b) and (d), and then, as a tiny minority: (c).
So, whenever you see a handicapped avatar - don't treat them badly: they probably have the same handicap in RL.
Now since I started to spend some of my time online with a handicapped avatar myself - and I've learned a lot about how people react on some disabilities - I also wondered about the reasons why people in general use handicapped avatars.
It's gonna be long, so there is a short "TL'DR" summary at the end. :)
As I said, I used it to learn about the reactions. One of my characters in "a" story of mine (I don't know yet if this character gets involved in "Mirror Visions part 2" or in another story) is an armless girl, with just little stumps for arms. So, I created an avatar after her.
No, I haven't been active in the Virtual Ability community with her, and at no other amputee places either (though I did visit Club Accessible more often than not), and I also didn't openly pretend to be such handicapped: I even did play a role in a normal town RP, and (using the famous Jessica Cox as a shiny example for an armless person's ability to drive a car (and even to fly an airplane!)), sweet even drove the taxi and the bus there. Who said that handicapped people have no useful ability at all? Or that they have to be considered "dis-abled"?
Anyways: one dear friend of mine is an amputee in RL, and she admitted that it hurt her to see her avatar NOT mirroring her own handicap. She said "I just couldn't stand seeing this avatar with two legs, and then looking at my own stump on the chair below the keyboard" - thus, her avatar very quickly became an amputee like her RL self. Others I've met thanks to the connections of my alt and this friend have been likewise: the handicap of their avatars mirror the handicaps of their RL bodies - no matter if it's the wheelchair, amputation stumps of all sorts, prostheses, braces, thick glasses - or even a scripted seeing-eye dog.
But, not all handicapped people are like them. Many many more with RL handicap don't even consider to mirror their RL handicaps into SL at all. Since everyone can be what ever they want or dream to be, many handicapped people rather prefer to use a "normal", non-handicapped avatar. You'll never know that they are handicapped until they tell you if you meet them at places like Virtual Ability, Club Accessible or others. Maybe the avatar you dance with at the moment, or that escort/dancer on that stage, or your friendly newbie mentor, or the newbie you teach something, or or the kajira in your furs, or the Master you serve in SL actually is a handicapped person in RL? Who knows?
Though - like my alt, not all handicapped avatars are steered by real handicapped people.
"Why that?", you may ask. "Why in all world would someone even want to use a handicapped avatar if they have no handicap in RL?" Well, I'd answer with a grin: "Simply because they can."
Some, for example, do it for role-play reasons.
Whether it's because their RP character gets mutilated during a role-play scenario (like, when thieves get their hand chopped off, or a shark eats the seaman's leg, or someone gets blinded), or because they play a somehow handicapped person within an RP - for them it's important to stay in that role as plausibly and consequently as possible to follow the continuity of their RP. If you want to play your role well, you just play out all consequences of whatever happens to your role, even if it means that your character is handicapped from one RP night on.
Others for example use steam-powered prostheses for their avatars in a steampunk surrounding, or walk around as cyborgs - part human, part machine (which again means that the human part would be massively handicapped without the machine part), so they just as well play a handicapped person, but aren't handicapped for real.
Well, as I stated above, my own alt sweet was created based on a character in my own stories, who is a bilateral arm amputee.
I thought it would have been way too personal to ask a real amputee about their feelings on how others react on them, or how they struggle with such rather non-technical details like: "do I dress this so that my stump(s) can be seen, or rather that to hide it(them)? Which prosthesis goes with which outfit, or will I rather go without? And if I go without, will others think I'm ugly?" I know that's an entire different quality of questions than asking how they'll cope with the everyday obstacles that appear with having stumps or prostheses for arms or legs (or without ability to see or hear) anyways. And I wanted to have my personal POV on it. Thus, sweet was born.
With my alt sweet, I am a rather normal girl who just happens to have stumps instead of arms. And strangely, at most places, people don't even realize sweet's handicap unless I ask them, for example, to open a door (I use RLV with my alt, and disabled "far touch" ), or unless they see me go unusually close to vendors to touch them ("with my feet"), or unless they wonder why my avatar never shows such arm animations, like when others run their hands through their own hair or point at things and so on. But when they finally realize it (which, in Koeln, even took more than an hour) then it's like "WOW, she doesn't have any arms!" - and then the different reactions begin, which others whose handicaps are much more obvious usually have to deal with immediately.
It's really interesting to experience all these reactions, both positive and negative - though some reactions are really bothersome. That's the reactions and comments of the "devotees".
Who or what are "devotees" now, and what do they have to do with this topic?
That's a word for those who feel mainly attracted to handicapped people. Like some of us prefer brunettes or tall people, "devotees" prefer people who have one specific handicap - and for some few of them, this handicap can't be specific enough.
Like for example your ideal beauty may be "a 5ft5inch-tall tomboyish girl with shoulder-long red hair, brown eyes and freckles and a fiercy but submissive character", the ideal beauty of a devotee could be for example "a nice blonde, slim, not too tall woman with two equally 3 inch long, nicely rounded arm stumps and with the scars nicely removed and with ..." - you get the point.
A woman can be thus nice, blonde, slim, not too tall - can even have bilateral arm amputations, but if only one of her stumps is longer or shorter than those 3 inches, she isn't attractive for them.
That's the reason why there are some devotees in SL who create their avatars so that they become their own ideal beauty.
Then, there are those who suffer from BIID, Body Integrity Identity Disorder, a condition which is quite the opposite to the phantom limbs amputees suffer from: They feel that one - or several - of their limbs, despite being attached to their bodies and being fully functional, are "not really a part of their body".
You can compare that to having, for example, a second set of fully functional arms attached to your body: you would realize them as being too much, as disturbing attachments that always get into the way, as being "not really parts of your body" as well. So, of course you would wish they simply weren't there. Some of you might have the desire to be without those arms #3 and #4 entirely. You would pretend that this set of extra arms simply weren't there, you would bind them up or keep them underneath your clothes so you couldn't use them even by reflex (thus, being what is called a "pretender"), and the more daring ones of you would go all ways to finally get them removed at all costs, even by risking your health trying (thus, becoming a "wannabe").
And of course, the Hippocratic Oath and other ethic agreements forbid surgeons to remove healthy limbs (especially if you only have as many limbs as the average person), so these people are bound to suffer from this desire for their entire life, unless they finally manage to somehow get the disturbing limb removed.
In SL though, at least their avatars can look how they feel their own body should look like - with the disturbing limb(s) being removed, or the disturbing ability taken away. Their desires come true - at least virtually.
TL'DR: Handicapped avatars can be (a) people who mirror their own RL handicaps, (b) role-players who just play their role as plausible as possible, (c) devotees who use their avatar as object of their own desire, or (d) people who suffer from BIID.
Based on the people I've met, I'd dare say that those who belong to category (a) are the biggest of the groups, then comes (b) and (d), and then, as a tiny minority: (c).
So, whenever you see a handicapped avatar - don't treat them badly: they probably have the same handicap in RL.
So much to post, so little time
Where to begin?
Ah yes, what have I done since my last post here? Well, I've been busy. A lot.
Firstly: I built another version of the Shop Ship (and remade the logo).
My business partner Gorkie had a moment of "no sense in keeping all this boring stuff" and took all SLC and VIVIANE Fashion vendors down, leaving the Shop Ship nearly empty. So I started to talk some sense into her, and even built a bigger ship: a 70m long, 35m wide catamaran, with 4 floors to fill.
Then, we removed everything from our land sweetgorkie Island, and I put the new Shop Ship, and another house there - of course the big medieval well and its smaller brother found their place, too.
Now, visitors of our land arrive on a kind of a kind of L-shaped landing dock, and have to walk alongside the ship to reach our house. :P
Here another look on the first floor of the Shop Ship, shot from where a few of my Virwox vendors are standing.:
Yes, I renamed my own shop to "Gem's Timber Works", because most things I build are either mainly made of wood (according to the textures), or have parts made of wood - and timber is another word for it.
You see that there are a lot of "VIVIANE Fashion" vendors in the background now. I know it's many more than ever had place in and around the former version of the Shop Ship. I think it's three times as many - on this floor alone.
Here I stand in the back of the ship, near its backside terrace door. You see here that the Shop Ship is really big. No complains about "to narrow aisles" and "cam problems while shopping" anymore. And with 5m height, the floor is also high enough I think. The only problem while shopping on board of the Shop Ship ought to be the huge selection of products now. On either side of the center stairway, there are shoes - heels on one side, sneakers on the other.
Here's a look on the second floor now:
You see, there is an entire hair shop now in the front: matching the name of the parcel, sweetgorkie Island, it's sWEET HAIRs which has been chosen as franchise partner. It's one of the handful hair designers where you can buy really life-like flexi hair of nearly all styles and colors.
And, there's even more of VIVIANE in the back of this floor.
As already mentioned, the third floor will be filled with Haven's vendors soon (and maybe with added vendors by other creators of a similar theme).
The fourth floor of the Shop Ship though is being furnished as a club. There'll be no vendor at all on that floor, just the dance machines and the DJ desk that are already there, plus some chairs and tables to rest from dancing or shopping.
Miss Haven sponsored one of these dance machines, while the other one, a dance machine for handicapped avatars, was sponsored by a friend of Gorkie, Alexis Odger - who devotes much of her time and creative talents to help disabled residents both to run SL despite their handicaps, and to mirror their RL handicaps in SL - some rather prefer to see their avatars as handicapped as they are in RL.
So that's about what I've done in SL so far - aside of serving my Mistress, working on new products for my own shop, learning, and having fun with my friends...
In RL though, I still work on writing part 2 of "Mirror Visions". I currently battle with myself about entirely giving up the illustrating part - somehow I never am satisfied enough with pictures intended to become illustrations for my story. And I have the nagging feeling that a huge deal of the current two chapters rather fits into an alternative plot than into the storyline originally planned for this book.
But such things can happen when one lets the characters decide where they want to go...
Ah yes, what have I done since my last post here? Well, I've been busy. A lot.
Firstly: I built another version of the Shop Ship (and remade the logo).
My business partner Gorkie had a moment of "no sense in keeping all this boring stuff" and took all SLC and VIVIANE Fashion vendors down, leaving the Shop Ship nearly empty. So I started to talk some sense into her, and even built a bigger ship: a 70m long, 35m wide catamaran, with 4 floors to fill.
Then, we removed everything from our land sweetgorkie Island, and I put the new Shop Ship, and another house there - of course the big medieval well and its smaller brother found their place, too.
Now, visitors of our land arrive on a kind of a kind of L-shaped landing dock, and have to walk alongside the ship to reach our house. :P
This is the Shop Ship as seen from the Linden Sea. The wall at the left and behind belongs to one neighbor's Japan-themed parcel. If you look closely, you will see that the landing dock in front of the Shop Ship directly leads to the Big Medieval Well which is shadowed by that wall. And yes, the tiny figure there on the dock is me :)
The palms and beach behind the ship belongs to another neighbor who lives on the corner piece of the sim and obviously prefers to be left in peace, as the ban lines are showing.
Here it's me near the TP point, and we see the Shop Ship from the front, with the loading/entrance gate open. It clearly can be seen that it is a catamaran, that it has four floors above the water surface, and that it's even bigger than my house on the left... The tree house though in the background left belongs to that neighbor on the corner parcel.
Through the gate of the ship, you can see the new logo of my shop to the right, and the vendors of VIVIANE Fashion in the background.
The thing stuck in the floor is a VIRWOX™ vendor that I couldn't move due to permissions of VIRWOX's own avatar - but, I'll have it repositioned shortly.
When I made this screenshot, the second floor wasn't entirely filled yet, that's why it looks like empty here.
The third floor which also looks empty on this screenshot will soon be filled with the products and/or vendors of a friend of my Mistress, the marvelous, multi-talented creator Haven Ditko. I know a small part of her products already because i was allowed to help create vendor pics for her some months ago, upon a favor i did for my Mistress. Miss Haven has created lots of heart-warming, beautiful and wonderfully scripted and sculpted garden and fantasy stuff - and that was even before she added even more to her shown talents, like animations, photography and so on. I wish I were as talented a content creator as she is. *sigh* Here another look on the first floor of the Shop Ship, shot from where a few of my Virwox vendors are standing.:
You see that there are a lot of "VIVIANE Fashion" vendors in the background now. I know it's many more than ever had place in and around the former version of the Shop Ship. I think it's three times as many - on this floor alone.
Here's a look on the second floor now:
And, there's even more of VIVIANE in the back of this floor.
As already mentioned, the third floor will be filled with Haven's vendors soon (and maybe with added vendors by other creators of a similar theme).
The fourth floor of the Shop Ship though is being furnished as a club. There'll be no vendor at all on that floor, just the dance machines and the DJ desk that are already there, plus some chairs and tables to rest from dancing or shopping.
Miss Haven sponsored one of these dance machines, while the other one, a dance machine for handicapped avatars, was sponsored by a friend of Gorkie, Alexis Odger - who devotes much of her time and creative talents to help disabled residents both to run SL despite their handicaps, and to mirror their RL handicaps in SL - some rather prefer to see their avatars as handicapped as they are in RL.
So that's about what I've done in SL so far - aside of serving my Mistress, working on new products for my own shop, learning, and having fun with my friends...
In RL though, I still work on writing part 2 of "Mirror Visions". I currently battle with myself about entirely giving up the illustrating part - somehow I never am satisfied enough with pictures intended to become illustrations for my story. And I have the nagging feeling that a huge deal of the current two chapters rather fits into an alternative plot than into the storyline originally planned for this book.
But such things can happen when one lets the characters decide where they want to go...
Mar 8, 2011
New Works in Progress, and a statement
The ones for SL are quite ambitious - one because I need to collect correct translations before I make the final version and load it up to the SL Marketplace, the other one because of its size and details.
First the 1prim thing, or rather a texture with a statement:
Yes, it is entirely about the ongoing "war" on privacy-invading spy tools in SL that almost is splitting the SL community apart. Tools like RedZone, CDS, theQuickware Alt Detector and others.
Those who use these tools argue that they have the right to protect their land from griefers and copybotters plus their alts - while those who don't condone these tools argue that they are invading everyone's privacy even more than the groping TSA guys.
To all Alt Detection System users out there: It's nobody's business except Linden Lab's whether someone has alts or not, or how many, or what's their names are, and what they do. And you can't detect alts anyways by sneeking their IP: otherwise, everyone using a Hotspot at a cafe or station, or everyone in a company or university network, or everyone in a wi-fi sharing neighborhood, or everyone in an apartment with more than one computer would be each other's alt. And what about dynamic addresses? Is Avatar "X" the alt of avatar "Y" simply because X had the same IP yesterday that Y has today? Even if it's only one computer being used: is the SL account of X who is the RL roommate, or a family member or a guest of Y, and logging in from Y's computer, necessarily Y's alt account? Nope. Same IP is not equal to same account owner.
As I stated last week on SLU:
I have never used - and will never use - RedZone, CDS, or any other spyware thingy on my land. Or on land of any alt of mine.
I have my own private rl reasons from the past to be completely against such STASI tools.
I don't support them, and I don't support anyone who uses them by spending my time and L$ on their land.
I respect the privacy of anyone I meet and anyone who comes to my land.
eighthdwarf Checchinato
March 03, 2011 (4:14am)
Yes, I learned my lesson about privacy and disclosing of private info well.
Ok, the other thing i'm working on is a boat, or rather a ship, my Catamaran Yacht "Jewel of the Seas":
I'll still need to rebuild some of the things as sculpts, but as of yet it's look is more or less what I hoped for it. And as the last picture shows, it is quite big :) Actually, it's just over 81m (266ft) long, 32m (105ft) wide, and each deck is 4m (13ft) high. As far as I know, no RL ship looks like my yacht, though I have seen huge cruise ships with the name "Jewel of the Seas"
My RL work in progress is quite more time- consuming: I'm working on volume two of my not-yet-published book, on illustrations for both books, and on a graphic novel - together with the child book author Benjamin Nover - that is supposed to become a book for grown-ups.
So, everyone who wondered why I am online for only short time, and why my alt Lady Alexandra hasn't been on SL-Gor anymore for a long while, and why i'm mostly busy when being online and not with my Mistress - that's why.
Nov 23, 2009
a little summary, and musings about privacy, ponyplay, Gor and Alts
I'd love to give a summary of what happened between my Mistress and i, what happened with "miss", what led to precious throw in and submit to me... And I know those who know me would love to know these reasons too. But ...
But as I have been in trouble because I talked too much once, I have promised to not mention anything about my Mistress' RL even if that's the only way to explain things happening in SL, nor anything that can (read by the wrong people) cause Her harm and drama. I think there's enough drama in RL, and we don't need that in SL as well.
Anyways, I'm still the slave of my Mistress even though we're not together anymore on a daily base in SL, we still share secrets with each other, and to see Her Dominant friends wiggle around me, Her girl, trying to get even a little information about Her is just funny. Gosh I love to act as Her "Vorzimmerdrachen": the receptionist who makes clear that her boss gets as much privacy as possible, the secretary who only lets people pass who are invited by her boss on a whim.
And precious and I get along well, though I more and more realize that I am not made to be a Domme.. I do teach her and I do lead her, but we're OOC about half of the time, and as a Mistress I should be much less lenient than I am.
Precious told me in her "Limits and Wishes" notecard that she liked to see what it is to be a pony girl. Since I have no clue about that topic myself, I made sure she applied at the training center at the Frilly Filly Farm. Well even though I am taken aback a bit, thinking of my girl to be trained by someone else in general - and as a pony girl in special, I think it may be a good experience for her and will lead to a better understanding about what obedience means to a slave. And there's the saying after all: Be careful what you wish for - it may come true.
As mentioned before, I live now on my precious' land, as a subtenant so to speak. It's called Jona's Isle, named after the character Jona from my story. It's an island on 1/4 homestead sim, and I used up almost all 936 prims there - for two houses, a tent, some trees and 2 ships and a drawbridge towards the 1/4 sim which is our normal home: Labyrinth, the home of precious. Jona's Isle looks a bit like a Gorean smugglers nest, and that is intentionally. I do hope that it is visited by some Gorean friends as an outlet for roleplay, or to relax in a environment looking a bit like their home.
Though I do love the other part too, the quarter where my precious has built her home, I do have the ambition to make this island look perfect. When I am with my precious, we use the entire half of the sim - though the main villa on Labyrinth tends to be deserted most of the time. So many plans and so little time to make new friends and invite them over :D
Why did I make Jona's Island look Gor-like, and why do I have so many Gorean friends since I talked about BDSM only? well, I do have an Alt (alternative account) role-playing in SL-Gor. She's a Scribe - which is one of the highest castes (a kind of guild) on Gor, the caste of scholars and scientists, accountants and clerks. And with this Alt I have a lot of friends both in the town I play in (her Home Stone) and elsewhere in SL-Gor. And I must say even though I would not wish for Gorean conditions here on Earth, I like this roleplay, and it is challenging. And the roleplay did actually improve my writing as much as the critiques in the writing forums.
And, between pentecost and a few weeks ago, I had a break from roleplay. Even though I had managed it then to have time for working at the newbie area, for role-playing, and for serving my Mistress, I needed a break from roleplay, so my Alt was pausing, I was in SL only with this my main account. But I started to miss the RP, so this month I decided to let my Gorean character return to her Home Stone - with a background story: my character spent the time on Jona's Island, using a false identity as a merchant's Free Companion.
My Mistress knows my Alt, just like I know the Alts of all my closest friends - and it was a strange feeling to talk to my Mistress on an equal base, though we made it like our girl-to-girl talks - but it became even stranger and more challenging when she started to pretend to be a kajira when I was dressed as a Gorean Free Woman.
I admit, I don't really like to see my Mistress at my feet, somehow I can't differ OOC from IC then: She is my Mistress after all, no matter how both of us are dressed.
And I realized, no matter which avatar I use - if I am gem or my Alt, in my perception my Mistress will always be my Mistress. It's the human behind her avatar who I submitted to, not her avatar.
But as I have been in trouble because I talked too much once, I have promised to not mention anything about my Mistress' RL even if that's the only way to explain things happening in SL, nor anything that can (read by the wrong people) cause Her harm and drama. I think there's enough drama in RL, and we don't need that in SL as well.
Anyways, I'm still the slave of my Mistress even though we're not together anymore on a daily base in SL, we still share secrets with each other, and to see Her Dominant friends wiggle around me, Her girl, trying to get even a little information about Her is just funny. Gosh I love to act as Her "Vorzimmerdrachen": the receptionist who makes clear that her boss gets as much privacy as possible, the secretary who only lets people pass who are invited by her boss on a whim.
And precious and I get along well, though I more and more realize that I am not made to be a Domme.. I do teach her and I do lead her, but we're OOC about half of the time, and as a Mistress I should be much less lenient than I am.
Precious told me in her "Limits and Wishes" notecard that she liked to see what it is to be a pony girl. Since I have no clue about that topic myself, I made sure she applied at the training center at the Frilly Filly Farm. Well even though I am taken aback a bit, thinking of my girl to be trained by someone else in general - and as a pony girl in special, I think it may be a good experience for her and will lead to a better understanding about what obedience means to a slave. And there's the saying after all: Be careful what you wish for - it may come true.
As mentioned before, I live now on my precious' land, as a subtenant so to speak. It's called Jona's Isle, named after the character Jona from my story. It's an island on 1/4 homestead sim, and I used up almost all 936 prims there - for two houses, a tent, some trees and 2 ships and a drawbridge towards the 1/4 sim which is our normal home: Labyrinth, the home of precious. Jona's Isle looks a bit like a Gorean smugglers nest, and that is intentionally. I do hope that it is visited by some Gorean friends as an outlet for roleplay, or to relax in a environment looking a bit like their home.
Though I do love the other part too, the quarter where my precious has built her home, I do have the ambition to make this island look perfect. When I am with my precious, we use the entire half of the sim - though the main villa on Labyrinth tends to be deserted most of the time. So many plans and so little time to make new friends and invite them over :D
Why did I make Jona's Island look Gor-like, and why do I have so many Gorean friends since I talked about BDSM only? well, I do have an Alt (alternative account) role-playing in SL-Gor. She's a Scribe - which is one of the highest castes (a kind of guild) on Gor, the caste of scholars and scientists, accountants and clerks. And with this Alt I have a lot of friends both in the town I play in (her Home Stone) and elsewhere in SL-Gor. And I must say even though I would not wish for Gorean conditions here on Earth, I like this roleplay, and it is challenging. And the roleplay did actually improve my writing as much as the critiques in the writing forums.
And, between pentecost and a few weeks ago, I had a break from roleplay. Even though I had managed it then to have time for working at the newbie area, for role-playing, and for serving my Mistress, I needed a break from roleplay, so my Alt was pausing, I was in SL only with this my main account. But I started to miss the RP, so this month I decided to let my Gorean character return to her Home Stone - with a background story: my character spent the time on Jona's Island, using a false identity as a merchant's Free Companion.
My Mistress knows my Alt, just like I know the Alts of all my closest friends - and it was a strange feeling to talk to my Mistress on an equal base, though we made it like our girl-to-girl talks - but it became even stranger and more challenging when she started to pretend to be a kajira when I was dressed as a Gorean Free Woman.
I admit, I don't really like to see my Mistress at my feet, somehow I can't differ OOC from IC then: She is my Mistress after all, no matter how both of us are dressed.
And I realized, no matter which avatar I use - if I am gem or my Alt, in my perception my Mistress will always be my Mistress. It's the human behind her avatar who I submitted to, not her avatar.
Nov 7, 2009
been a busy bee
It may seem that I haven't done anything at all, since my last post was a few months ago.
But I was busy in RL for a while, writing.
Here are the links to the PDF-files of the English and the German version of the script to the story "Involuntary Females", as far as it goes by now (38 scenes). Once I am finished, I'll re-work them into novel form.
Onyx is now with me, though I call her precious now. Unfortunately she couldn't go well with my Mistress, so she eventually threw her collar in - but she din't want to get out of the position of a slave and she trusted me very very much... and I love her to pieces, so I finally stopped resisting her submission to me, despite I feel more as a slave than a Dominant. But I must say it is a challenging experience to teach and to lead for a change. If I wouldn't serve my Mistress whenever I can, I didn't know where to get the power and inspiration from to teach and lead Precious.
Anyway, even though my Mistress doesn't like the fact that I act as a switch now, and especially doesn't like the fact that precious is now my girl, I still try to make Her proud by doing as She taught me, by taking Her as shiny example.
But I was busy in RL for a while, writing.
Here are the links to the PDF-files of the English and the German version of the script to the story "Involuntary Females", as far as it goes by now (38 scenes). Once I am finished, I'll re-work them into novel form.
Onyx is now with me, though I call her precious now. Unfortunately she couldn't go well with my Mistress, so she eventually threw her collar in - but she din't want to get out of the position of a slave and she trusted me very very much... and I love her to pieces, so I finally stopped resisting her submission to me, despite I feel more as a slave than a Dominant. But I must say it is a challenging experience to teach and to lead for a change. If I wouldn't serve my Mistress whenever I can, I didn't know where to get the power and inspiration from to teach and lead Precious.
Anyway, even though my Mistress doesn't like the fact that I act as a switch now, and especially doesn't like the fact that precious is now my girl, I still try to make Her proud by doing as She taught me, by taking Her as shiny example.
Jun 4, 2009
"Jona"/ "Involuntary Females"
As i mentioned in my post "Who is gem?", I'm currently working on entirely re-writing my story "Involuntary Females", and simply gave it the working title "Jona" after it's main character.
What is this story about?
Well the disclaimer at pc.celtx.com hints it already:
Jona was born a boy in Kansas, and had a twin sister. As children the twins had fun to cross-dress to make everyone else confusing each twin with the other one ... until a bad incident happened while they were being in each other's identity.
Since then the former boy John is forced to live the life of his sister Joanna, and even got a new name by his adoptive mother: Jona. That he was transformed by a skinsuit, making him appear as a real girl, of course doesn't help to regain his male identity.
Now this story is about Jona and her friends, her life as teen and as adult, and her adventures during her and her friends' fight against a system that allows disconsensual slavery and exploitation of women in a reality where such skinsuits are used and misused regularly for both, temporary and permanent transformations.
To use skinsuits (or bodysuits) as transformation tools is an inspiration i got after i read the works of Mark McDonald - a great writer, by the way.
And his idea with the skinsuits really hit me the very right moment when i was struggling to make my story work: but then, *ha!*, there it was: the ultimate recipe to explain all temporary and permanent transformations in my story without using magic.
What is this story about?
Well the disclaimer at pc.celtx.com hints it already:
"This is a story about body transformation into other shapes, including gender. It contains scenes of bondage and other things which are not suitable for minors. This entire series is a work of pure fiction, although inspired by a lot of other stories written by talented authors. All institutions, people and situations are fictitious, and any similarity to real institutions, people and situations is purely coincidental."But this is only a hint. Who actually IS Jona?
Jona was born a boy in Kansas, and had a twin sister. As children the twins had fun to cross-dress to make everyone else confusing each twin with the other one ... until a bad incident happened while they were being in each other's identity.
Since then the former boy John is forced to live the life of his sister Joanna, and even got a new name by his adoptive mother: Jona. That he was transformed by a skinsuit, making him appear as a real girl, of course doesn't help to regain his male identity.
Now this story is about Jona and her friends, her life as teen and as adult, and her adventures during her and her friends' fight against a system that allows disconsensual slavery and exploitation of women in a reality where such skinsuits are used and misused regularly for both, temporary and permanent transformations.
To use skinsuits (or bodysuits) as transformation tools is an inspiration i got after i read the works of Mark McDonald - a great writer, by the way.
And his idea with the skinsuits really hit me the very right moment when i was struggling to make my story work: but then, *ha!*, there it was: the ultimate recipe to explain all temporary and permanent transformations in my story without using magic.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)