Some people wonder why I haven't been in SL for so long, and when I was, why it was only for a short time. And why I only post one or two posts in forums approximately per day and forum while it was about a dozen each in the past.
It has a very good reason: my prolonged use of the computer (and I've done nearly everything with on the computer for way more than a decade now: writing, watching TV and videos, listening to music or spoken word, editing pictures, writing, reading, discussing in forums, translating, GIMP, writing, ordering things on the internet, online banking, (did I mention I use to write a lot?), and now SL and the things I do in and about this virtual world) - together with a weakened health which I haven't realized until I got my blood checked --- finally led to the dreaded RSI.
To avoid pain despite prescribed meds against it, I'm damned to work as slow as a snail on the computer, considering all the breaks inbetween: so slow that even this short post took me a half hour so far. Can you imagine what this means for SL where your mouse and your keyboard is (usually) in nearly constant usage? Where you can't even walk without using the keyboard, or build without using the mouse? Where you can't even look around or talk or teleport or whatever without using keyboard and/or mouse?
The last time when I was online, I said "I come back later, when I feel like being up to it".…
… but when you are a writer and illustrator and translator like me, when all your work and creativity is related to WRITING and/or using the computer, AND then you get RSI and in the evening or after your work's done you just want to rest your wrists and do nothing at all for a while, but still reply to posts in forums and have some rest again, then even this beautiful great even more interactive virtual world Second Life you miss so very much becomes a place you avoid. you avoid it simply to avoid the pain that comes by interacting.
I will be back again, but I can't say yet when that will be exactly. Currently I'm glad to just so manage my RL tasks, I even rejected translation jobs because they would have demanded even more typing.
So, being a writer, what do I do without typing? Well, I learned that writing by hand (pen on paper) does not inflict that much pain, so I still can work on my stories or draw illustrations for them, so there is progress (though this progress is very slow, and my waste paper bucket gets full very fast).
Showing posts with label private. Show all posts
Showing posts with label private. Show all posts
Jul 15, 2011
Mar 8, 2011
New Works in Progress, and a statement
The ones for SL are quite ambitious - one because I need to collect correct translations before I make the final version and load it up to the SL Marketplace, the other one because of its size and details.
First the 1prim thing, or rather a texture with a statement:
Yes, it is entirely about the ongoing "war" on privacy-invading spy tools in SL that almost is splitting the SL community apart. Tools like RedZone, CDS, theQuickware Alt Detector and others.
Those who use these tools argue that they have the right to protect their land from griefers and copybotters plus their alts - while those who don't condone these tools argue that they are invading everyone's privacy even more than the groping TSA guys.
To all Alt Detection System users out there: It's nobody's business except Linden Lab's whether someone has alts or not, or how many, or what's their names are, and what they do. And you can't detect alts anyways by sneeking their IP: otherwise, everyone using a Hotspot at a cafe or station, or everyone in a company or university network, or everyone in a wi-fi sharing neighborhood, or everyone in an apartment with more than one computer would be each other's alt. And what about dynamic addresses? Is Avatar "X" the alt of avatar "Y" simply because X had the same IP yesterday that Y has today? Even if it's only one computer being used: is the SL account of X who is the RL roommate, or a family member or a guest of Y, and logging in from Y's computer, necessarily Y's alt account? Nope. Same IP is not equal to same account owner.
As I stated last week on SLU:
I have never used - and will never use - RedZone, CDS, or any other spyware thingy on my land. Or on land of any alt of mine.
I have my own private rl reasons from the past to be completely against such STASI tools.
I don't support them, and I don't support anyone who uses them by spending my time and L$ on their land.
I respect the privacy of anyone I meet and anyone who comes to my land.
eighthdwarf Checchinato
March 03, 2011 (4:14am)
Yes, I learned my lesson about privacy and disclosing of private info well.
Ok, the other thing i'm working on is a boat, or rather a ship, my Catamaran Yacht "Jewel of the Seas":
I'll still need to rebuild some of the things as sculpts, but as of yet it's look is more or less what I hoped for it. And as the last picture shows, it is quite big :) Actually, it's just over 81m (266ft) long, 32m (105ft) wide, and each deck is 4m (13ft) high. As far as I know, no RL ship looks like my yacht, though I have seen huge cruise ships with the name "Jewel of the Seas"
My RL work in progress is quite more time- consuming: I'm working on volume two of my not-yet-published book, on illustrations for both books, and on a graphic novel - together with the child book author Benjamin Nover - that is supposed to become a book for grown-ups.
So, everyone who wondered why I am online for only short time, and why my alt Lady Alexandra hasn't been on SL-Gor anymore for a long while, and why i'm mostly busy when being online and not with my Mistress - that's why.
Jan 1, 2011
2011 has begun…
… and of course I made some resolutions for this year, things I want to work on
May 2011 be one of your best years in life!
- writing, writing, writing - to finish the projects i began, and start new ones.
- working on my drawing and picture editing skills - and finish the illustrating projects i began
- building more things in SL - to let my "~ gem's ~" shop grow, not only in turnover, but also in product number and product range
- and despite of the above: more activities outdoors - or at least away from a computer or sketchbook
May 2011 be one of your best years in life!
Nov 23, 2009
a little summary, and musings about privacy, ponyplay, Gor and Alts
I'd love to give a summary of what happened between my Mistress and i, what happened with "miss", what led to precious throw in and submit to me... And I know those who know me would love to know these reasons too. But ...
But as I have been in trouble because I talked too much once, I have promised to not mention anything about my Mistress' RL even if that's the only way to explain things happening in SL, nor anything that can (read by the wrong people) cause Her harm and drama. I think there's enough drama in RL, and we don't need that in SL as well.
Anyways, I'm still the slave of my Mistress even though we're not together anymore on a daily base in SL, we still share secrets with each other, and to see Her Dominant friends wiggle around me, Her girl, trying to get even a little information about Her is just funny. Gosh I love to act as Her "Vorzimmerdrachen": the receptionist who makes clear that her boss gets as much privacy as possible, the secretary who only lets people pass who are invited by her boss on a whim.
And precious and I get along well, though I more and more realize that I am not made to be a Domme.. I do teach her and I do lead her, but we're OOC about half of the time, and as a Mistress I should be much less lenient than I am.
Precious told me in her "Limits and Wishes" notecard that she liked to see what it is to be a pony girl. Since I have no clue about that topic myself, I made sure she applied at the training center at the Frilly Filly Farm. Well even though I am taken aback a bit, thinking of my girl to be trained by someone else in general - and as a pony girl in special, I think it may be a good experience for her and will lead to a better understanding about what obedience means to a slave. And there's the saying after all: Be careful what you wish for - it may come true.
As mentioned before, I live now on my precious' land, as a subtenant so to speak. It's called Jona's Isle, named after the character Jona from my story. It's an island on 1/4 homestead sim, and I used up almost all 936 prims there - for two houses, a tent, some trees and 2 ships and a drawbridge towards the 1/4 sim which is our normal home: Labyrinth, the home of precious. Jona's Isle looks a bit like a Gorean smugglers nest, and that is intentionally. I do hope that it is visited by some Gorean friends as an outlet for roleplay, or to relax in a environment looking a bit like their home.
Though I do love the other part too, the quarter where my precious has built her home, I do have the ambition to make this island look perfect. When I am with my precious, we use the entire half of the sim - though the main villa on Labyrinth tends to be deserted most of the time. So many plans and so little time to make new friends and invite them over :D
Why did I make Jona's Island look Gor-like, and why do I have so many Gorean friends since I talked about BDSM only? well, I do have an Alt (alternative account) role-playing in SL-Gor. She's a Scribe - which is one of the highest castes (a kind of guild) on Gor, the caste of scholars and scientists, accountants and clerks. And with this Alt I have a lot of friends both in the town I play in (her Home Stone) and elsewhere in SL-Gor. And I must say even though I would not wish for Gorean conditions here on Earth, I like this roleplay, and it is challenging. And the roleplay did actually improve my writing as much as the critiques in the writing forums.
And, between pentecost and a few weeks ago, I had a break from roleplay. Even though I had managed it then to have time for working at the newbie area, for role-playing, and for serving my Mistress, I needed a break from roleplay, so my Alt was pausing, I was in SL only with this my main account. But I started to miss the RP, so this month I decided to let my Gorean character return to her Home Stone - with a background story: my character spent the time on Jona's Island, using a false identity as a merchant's Free Companion.
My Mistress knows my Alt, just like I know the Alts of all my closest friends - and it was a strange feeling to talk to my Mistress on an equal base, though we made it like our girl-to-girl talks - but it became even stranger and more challenging when she started to pretend to be a kajira when I was dressed as a Gorean Free Woman.
I admit, I don't really like to see my Mistress at my feet, somehow I can't differ OOC from IC then: She is my Mistress after all, no matter how both of us are dressed.
And I realized, no matter which avatar I use - if I am gem or my Alt, in my perception my Mistress will always be my Mistress. It's the human behind her avatar who I submitted to, not her avatar.
But as I have been in trouble because I talked too much once, I have promised to not mention anything about my Mistress' RL even if that's the only way to explain things happening in SL, nor anything that can (read by the wrong people) cause Her harm and drama. I think there's enough drama in RL, and we don't need that in SL as well.
Anyways, I'm still the slave of my Mistress even though we're not together anymore on a daily base in SL, we still share secrets with each other, and to see Her Dominant friends wiggle around me, Her girl, trying to get even a little information about Her is just funny. Gosh I love to act as Her "Vorzimmerdrachen": the receptionist who makes clear that her boss gets as much privacy as possible, the secretary who only lets people pass who are invited by her boss on a whim.
And precious and I get along well, though I more and more realize that I am not made to be a Domme.. I do teach her and I do lead her, but we're OOC about half of the time, and as a Mistress I should be much less lenient than I am.
Precious told me in her "Limits and Wishes" notecard that she liked to see what it is to be a pony girl. Since I have no clue about that topic myself, I made sure she applied at the training center at the Frilly Filly Farm. Well even though I am taken aback a bit, thinking of my girl to be trained by someone else in general - and as a pony girl in special, I think it may be a good experience for her and will lead to a better understanding about what obedience means to a slave. And there's the saying after all: Be careful what you wish for - it may come true.
As mentioned before, I live now on my precious' land, as a subtenant so to speak. It's called Jona's Isle, named after the character Jona from my story. It's an island on 1/4 homestead sim, and I used up almost all 936 prims there - for two houses, a tent, some trees and 2 ships and a drawbridge towards the 1/4 sim which is our normal home: Labyrinth, the home of precious. Jona's Isle looks a bit like a Gorean smugglers nest, and that is intentionally. I do hope that it is visited by some Gorean friends as an outlet for roleplay, or to relax in a environment looking a bit like their home.
Though I do love the other part too, the quarter where my precious has built her home, I do have the ambition to make this island look perfect. When I am with my precious, we use the entire half of the sim - though the main villa on Labyrinth tends to be deserted most of the time. So many plans and so little time to make new friends and invite them over :D
Why did I make Jona's Island look Gor-like, and why do I have so many Gorean friends since I talked about BDSM only? well, I do have an Alt (alternative account) role-playing in SL-Gor. She's a Scribe - which is one of the highest castes (a kind of guild) on Gor, the caste of scholars and scientists, accountants and clerks. And with this Alt I have a lot of friends both in the town I play in (her Home Stone) and elsewhere in SL-Gor. And I must say even though I would not wish for Gorean conditions here on Earth, I like this roleplay, and it is challenging. And the roleplay did actually improve my writing as much as the critiques in the writing forums.
And, between pentecost and a few weeks ago, I had a break from roleplay. Even though I had managed it then to have time for working at the newbie area, for role-playing, and for serving my Mistress, I needed a break from roleplay, so my Alt was pausing, I was in SL only with this my main account. But I started to miss the RP, so this month I decided to let my Gorean character return to her Home Stone - with a background story: my character spent the time on Jona's Island, using a false identity as a merchant's Free Companion.
My Mistress knows my Alt, just like I know the Alts of all my closest friends - and it was a strange feeling to talk to my Mistress on an equal base, though we made it like our girl-to-girl talks - but it became even stranger and more challenging when she started to pretend to be a kajira when I was dressed as a Gorean Free Woman.
I admit, I don't really like to see my Mistress at my feet, somehow I can't differ OOC from IC then: She is my Mistress after all, no matter how both of us are dressed.
And I realized, no matter which avatar I use - if I am gem or my Alt, in my perception my Mistress will always be my Mistress. It's the human behind her avatar who I submitted to, not her avatar.
Sep 5, 2009
withdrawal symptoms and other difficulties
Caffeine - Tolerance and Withdrawal
Oh my... why would i link a blog to a wiki about caffeine? And this in a blog about my Second Life and everything affecting it?
Well I used to drink a lot of coffee. Four to five 20oz mugs of coffee a day. And i mean strong coffee. Very strong coffee. The coffee i used to drink was in relation to espresso like your home-brewed coffee would be in relation to the colored water they serve in truck stops as "pay one, get as many free re-fills as you want".
I mentioned this towards onyx the other day, and she was very worried so she more or less talked me into trying cutting it down.
Well i did try.
And you won't believe it, i started to feel wornout quickly. Beside an inability to concentrate, drowsiness, a total weird sleep rhythm and just a slight but constant head ache i started bitching around more than during my PMS... :(
Just as i started getting used to "only" three cups a day again, i started having dreams of a little boy in my arms, and i became sick in the morning... yes, my fears turned out to be legitimate ... I'm pregnant, meanwhile it's the 7th week. *sigh*
Of course i talked to my doc, and he was cross at me for consuming so much caffeine (he even related it to medicine abuse) and told me to cut it down, and to cut down cigarettes as well... and only one glass of alcoholic beverage if at all and more vitamins yadda yadda ... and yes he's right *sigh*
But what has everything above to do with Second Life?
Well, first it affects the time i'm inworld, two it affects my inner strength, three it affects my work, and four it affects my service to my Mistress.
As written above, cutting down coffee and cigarettes does effect my ability to concentrate - which i need to be able to communicate in two languages until way past midnight, or to focus on doing things with programs like GIMP (for textures) and Qavimator (for poses and animations) after having written or translated texts for other people in Office, and after having posted in the forums i'm a member of, and/or having written some scenes of the new scripts version of "Involuntary Females" in Celtx -- not to mention the concentration the rest of my Real Life needs sometimes.
But why would I need to stay awake until way past midnight? Well, to spend as much time as possible with my Mistress of course. Since my Mistress is living in USA, there are 7 hours time difference between Her and me. So when it's noon for Her, it's 7pm for me. And since Her best time to go inworld is afternoon/evening Her time (because She has a RL to attend too) - think afternoon plus 7 hours and you get the point. Luckily i work from home so i have been able to go to bed with sunrise and sleep late and still get my work done without problems.
And here we come to point one: my time inworld. With a sleep-rhythm going all haywire, i can't rely on a certain time of going inworld anymore. Hence i become unreliable too. Sometimes my inworld time is from 7pm to 10pm, hardly seeing Mistress and onyx; sometimes it's between Midnight and 2 or 3am, seing onyx only half of the time; sometimes i need a nap after my RL work and wake up at 6am after a 14h sleep and thus miss both Mistress and onyx; sometimes it's the formerly usual time between 10pm and 2am. It has become chaotic.
Two, as a slave in an M/s relationship i feel to have a certain responsibility for Mistress, so when She needs to just relax from exhausting RL, i try to be calming and supportive and be not too pushy. And as First girl of Mistress i also do have a responsibility towards onyx, and i feel that i should not only be her bestest friend and sister but that i also should lead her when Mistress is not online in a way that would make my Mistress proud of both of us. Even Mistress said that it would be good for training as long as both onyx and i don't see me as a replacement for Her.
And here comes the problem with my inner strength: Going through this withdrawal, being irritatable and having concentration issues and being less reliable with inworld times, i currently tend to be more demanding than normal. At least i feel i am. With no creative ideas to give input, i feel i kind of force my Mistress to come up with ideas instead of just relaxing and deciding between humbly made suggestions. So instead of giving my Mistress strength i feel i'm drawing it from Her which is the last thing i ever wanted. I'm glad onyx is on my side to take this part and help both Mistress and me - which is not always easy for her. And my lack of input plus my difficulties in domming and leading, gives onyx a really hard time at the moment. I sometimes wonder that both Mistress and onyx still love me as much as they do.
Three, my work: yes, this also affects my work - because i need more time to do the same amount of work than before in RL, and i just don't feel like doing any work in SL at the moment. i haven't done any service in a Welcome Area since FFH Land was killed, and i haven't built anything inworld since i tried cutting down the coffee usage the first time. Okay, i did make two poses (which were far from perfect) and i made a few textures, but ... somehow the interest to do anything creative has decreased - even the interest in working on my story (though it is waiting to be finished as if it had a dead-line).
And last but not least, when i'm that irritatable and lacking of concentration and creativity, i'm becoming less useful as a slave in a lifestyle that depends on communication and mutual inspiration. I love my Mistress and am as supportive and calming as i can, but at the moment i'm not much of use: Obeying commands as good as i can is all i can do at the moment. Plus that i'm feeling less able to help onyx to become the perfect slave she wants to be, and my irregular inworld time makes it difficult to serve my Mistress and my sister as good as i should. In my current state, i'm far from being a perfect slave. :(
Mistress, if You read this: i do love you, and i still try to be the best slave i can be - and even though i have difficulties and issues at the moment, i will do my best to serve and support You, as i always did.
Oh my... why would i link a blog to a wiki about caffeine? And this in a blog about my Second Life and everything affecting it?
Well I used to drink a lot of coffee. Four to five 20oz mugs of coffee a day. And i mean strong coffee. Very strong coffee. The coffee i used to drink was in relation to espresso like your home-brewed coffee would be in relation to the colored water they serve in truck stops as "pay one, get as many free re-fills as you want".
I mentioned this towards onyx the other day, and she was very worried so she more or less talked me into trying cutting it down.
Well i did try.
And you won't believe it, i started to feel wornout quickly. Beside an inability to concentrate, drowsiness, a total weird sleep rhythm and just a slight but constant head ache i started bitching around more than during my PMS... :(
Just as i started getting used to "only" three cups a day again, i started having dreams of a little boy in my arms, and i became sick in the morning... yes, my fears turned out to be legitimate ... I'm pregnant, meanwhile it's the 7th week. *sigh*
Of course i talked to my doc, and he was cross at me for consuming so much caffeine (he even related it to medicine abuse) and told me to cut it down, and to cut down cigarettes as well... and only one glass of alcoholic beverage if at all and more vitamins yadda yadda ... and yes he's right *sigh*
But what has everything above to do with Second Life?
Well, first it affects the time i'm inworld, two it affects my inner strength, three it affects my work, and four it affects my service to my Mistress.
As written above, cutting down coffee and cigarettes does effect my ability to concentrate - which i need to be able to communicate in two languages until way past midnight, or to focus on doing things with programs like GIMP (for textures) and Qavimator (for poses and animations) after having written or translated texts for other people in Office, and after having posted in the forums i'm a member of, and/or having written some scenes of the new scripts version of "Involuntary Females" in Celtx -- not to mention the concentration the rest of my Real Life needs sometimes.
But why would I need to stay awake until way past midnight? Well, to spend as much time as possible with my Mistress of course. Since my Mistress is living in USA, there are 7 hours time difference between Her and me. So when it's noon for Her, it's 7pm for me. And since Her best time to go inworld is afternoon/evening Her time (because She has a RL to attend too) - think afternoon plus 7 hours and you get the point. Luckily i work from home so i have been able to go to bed with sunrise and sleep late and still get my work done without problems.
And here we come to point one: my time inworld. With a sleep-rhythm going all haywire, i can't rely on a certain time of going inworld anymore. Hence i become unreliable too. Sometimes my inworld time is from 7pm to 10pm, hardly seeing Mistress and onyx; sometimes it's between Midnight and 2 or 3am, seing onyx only half of the time; sometimes i need a nap after my RL work and wake up at 6am after a 14h sleep and thus miss both Mistress and onyx; sometimes it's the formerly usual time between 10pm and 2am. It has become chaotic.
Two, as a slave in an M/s relationship i feel to have a certain responsibility for Mistress, so when She needs to just relax from exhausting RL, i try to be calming and supportive and be not too pushy. And as First girl of Mistress i also do have a responsibility towards onyx, and i feel that i should not only be her bestest friend and sister but that i also should lead her when Mistress is not online in a way that would make my Mistress proud of both of us. Even Mistress said that it would be good for training as long as both onyx and i don't see me as a replacement for Her.
And here comes the problem with my inner strength: Going through this withdrawal, being irritatable and having concentration issues and being less reliable with inworld times, i currently tend to be more demanding than normal. At least i feel i am. With no creative ideas to give input, i feel i kind of force my Mistress to come up with ideas instead of just relaxing and deciding between humbly made suggestions. So instead of giving my Mistress strength i feel i'm drawing it from Her which is the last thing i ever wanted. I'm glad onyx is on my side to take this part and help both Mistress and me - which is not always easy for her. And my lack of input plus my difficulties in domming and leading, gives onyx a really hard time at the moment. I sometimes wonder that both Mistress and onyx still love me as much as they do.
Three, my work: yes, this also affects my work - because i need more time to do the same amount of work than before in RL, and i just don't feel like doing any work in SL at the moment. i haven't done any service in a Welcome Area since FFH Land was killed, and i haven't built anything inworld since i tried cutting down the coffee usage the first time. Okay, i did make two poses (which were far from perfect) and i made a few textures, but ... somehow the interest to do anything creative has decreased - even the interest in working on my story (though it is waiting to be finished as if it had a dead-line).
And last but not least, when i'm that irritatable and lacking of concentration and creativity, i'm becoming less useful as a slave in a lifestyle that depends on communication and mutual inspiration. I love my Mistress and am as supportive and calming as i can, but at the moment i'm not much of use: Obeying commands as good as i can is all i can do at the moment. Plus that i'm feeling less able to help onyx to become the perfect slave she wants to be, and my irregular inworld time makes it difficult to serve my Mistress and my sister as good as i should. In my current state, i'm far from being a perfect slave. :(
Mistress, if You read this: i do love you, and i still try to be the best slave i can be - and even though i have difficulties and issues at the moment, i will do my best to serve and support You, as i always did.
Jul 18, 2009
Living in the Past?
I pondered about the Zen comic in my last post - the panel where Sensei Tsuru says:
And i also know it would be easier to just look forward and say "this or that chapter is CLOSED, i will not open it anymore"...
But wouldn't it be too ignorant as well? I don't know though i'm trying.
"To live completely in the moment" - what a difficult way of life!
"I left that young woman at the river, why do you still carry her?"I admit it IS difficult to not think of things that happened in the past when i am confronted with all the things reminding me of them ...
And i also know it would be easier to just look forward and say "this or that chapter is CLOSED, i will not open it anymore"...
But wouldn't it be too ignorant as well? I don't know though i'm trying.
"To live completely in the moment" - what a difficult way of life!
Jul 17, 2009
Catching Up
I know i havent taken care of this my blog for way too long...
I'm really sorry about that. But like my Mistress uses to say: RL comes always first.
So, this post will become somewhat long today.
Yes, I'm still with my Mistress. She seemed to have forgiven me, and her friend Sir T. who i also did hurt with my talking to d* (even made his situation in RL worse than it was before) seems to have forgiven me.
So i could be happy about that fact and close that chapter like they did, if ... well if I myself wouldnt be so slow at forgiving me. :(
I talked with Master Thorin, and He managed to calm me down, and He sent me a link to a picture and told me to place it here when i told him that i wanted to write about my thoughts in that matter.
I don't know if it really fits in here but as He asked me so nicely ...
Hm... Well ... Zen stuff *shrug* I never understood that part.
* * *
Speaking of closing a chapter: The Community Gateway in FFH Land, formerly belonging to the virtual town of Frankfurt, has closed, and the sim will disappear soon.
I liked working there, helping newbies in a town that resembled the big city close to where i live in RL. It had a feeling of being near home.
Sadly, this CG has closed there forever - and it's even sadder that it wasn't even for financial reasons: there would have been sponsors for it. No, it was personal reasons why the CG was dumped.
Now, that the place has been junked with memorables and pictures, it doesnt look even a bit homely anymore - as i had to see when i was there with my sister Onyx.
By the way, the letters DID on the entry place don't mean the past tense of DO, but are the abbreviation of "Deutscher Info-Dienst", German Info Service.
*sigh*
Seeing how the place has changed, and knowing that it is only a memorial now, no place for incoming newbies anymore, made (and still makes) me sad.
So, to a more homelier place:
"Thorin's Land", the land Master Thorin and i own on Temptations, the sim of my Mistress.
I finally finished the chapel for Onyx, even though i had to buy clocks and a bell and the benches for it. But the money Onyx gave me for it was more than enough to to buy them and still have a win.
Here it is in it's final form:
Yes i know it rather looks like a church than a chapel :D but Onyx liked it, and that was important.
And, Master Thorin bought a house (actually had it custom-built) as a new home for us.
Since this one has a basement, it had to be placed on a hill - so a lot of new landscaping had to be made which led to new ideas (and a bit of time to spend with working to realize them).
Home warming party will be soon, i already work on an invitation list and on the preparations for the party.
I love my Mistress, and i love my sister Onyx
Let's hope the powers that be let us all live happy on Temptations and in this new house.
I'm really sorry about that. But like my Mistress uses to say: RL comes always first.
So, this post will become somewhat long today.
Yes, I'm still with my Mistress. She seemed to have forgiven me, and her friend Sir T. who i also did hurt with my talking to d* (even made his situation in RL worse than it was before) seems to have forgiven me.
So i could be happy about that fact and close that chapter like they did, if ... well if I myself wouldnt be so slow at forgiving me. :(
I talked with Master Thorin, and He managed to calm me down, and He sent me a link to a picture and told me to place it here when i told him that i wanted to write about my thoughts in that matter.
I don't know if it really fits in here but as He asked me so nicely ...
Hm... Well ... Zen stuff *shrug* I never understood that part.
* * *
Speaking of closing a chapter: The Community Gateway in FFH Land, formerly belonging to the virtual town of Frankfurt, has closed, and the sim will disappear soon.
I liked working there, helping newbies in a town that resembled the big city close to where i live in RL. It had a feeling of being near home.
Sadly, this CG has closed there forever - and it's even sadder that it wasn't even for financial reasons: there would have been sponsors for it. No, it was personal reasons why the CG was dumped.
Now, that the place has been junked with memorables and pictures, it doesnt look even a bit homely anymore - as i had to see when i was there with my sister Onyx.
By the way, the letters DID on the entry place don't mean the past tense of DO, but are the abbreviation of "Deutscher Info-Dienst", German Info Service.
*sigh*
Seeing how the place has changed, and knowing that it is only a memorial now, no place for incoming newbies anymore, made (and still makes) me sad.
So, to a more homelier place:
"Thorin's Land", the land Master Thorin and i own on Temptations, the sim of my Mistress.
I finally finished the chapel for Onyx, even though i had to buy clocks and a bell and the benches for it. But the money Onyx gave me for it was more than enough to to buy them and still have a win.
Here it is in it's final form:
Yes i know it rather looks like a church than a chapel :D but Onyx liked it, and that was important.
And, Master Thorin bought a house (actually had it custom-built) as a new home for us.
Since this one has a basement, it had to be placed on a hill - so a lot of new landscaping had to be made which led to new ideas (and a bit of time to spend with working to realize them).
Home warming party will be soon, i already work on an invitation list and on the preparations for the party.
I love my Mistress, and i love my sister Onyx
Let's hope the powers that be let us all live happy on Temptations and in this new house.
Jun 21, 2009
an apology by off-line IM
Just as i was replying to an email by Onyx last night (btw, i love you and miss you, sis) i got another email: it was an IM i received as off-line message, sent by d*, the woman who i still regret to have talked with.
She obviously read my blog and saw my lines, reading:
Hence she wrote me:
Gosh even though i don't want to doubt she was sincere, i do doubt that she even has a clue about how great an expense this is to me.
The very person who awakened me, formed me, molded me, taught me; the person who loved me so much and who i adore and whose feet i kiss; the person who never ever wanted to let me leave Her; the person who is the very Center of my universe: my MISTRESS, did abandon me! Me, who was Her First Girl, Her pet slave - and why? Because She righteously felt deceived by my help towards this woman.
And even though it breaks my heart, and i still feel numb and devastated, i do understand Her reaction and know i deserved it. I'm sure though that She suffers as much as i do from this Her decision, because She still loves me as much as i still love Her. I just know it. But i disappointed Her way too much.
Even though one may think, it's just natural for a slave to be polite and helpful and comforting a person in need: in this special case it would have been most appropriate to just tell d*: "please leave me in peace, i don't want to be involved " and then leave the place asap after muting her. This would have shown real loyalty towards my Mistress. I know this now. Now, that it's too late.
Only Heaven knows how deeply i do regret this talk. But only Heavens know if i ever am forgiven.
I remember that i was warned months ago that d* might approach me, and that i should mute her - but either i forgot this warning or her name, or i was too nosy once again - i don't know anymore: i agreed to talk, and now i pay for it.
Nonetheless, and beyond all reason, i still hope Mistress will forgive me and take me back.
She obviously read my blog and saw my lines, reading:
"I really do hope she doesn't or already didn't try to intervene, it would make everything worse. Though - what is worse than being abandoned by one's beloved Mistress? Abandoned by the center of one's universe?"
Hence she wrote me:
"I will not intervene per your wishes...thank you so very much [...] it was a great comfort to me. I am sorry it came at such a great expense to you."
Gosh even though i don't want to doubt she was sincere, i do doubt that she even has a clue about how great an expense this is to me.
The very person who awakened me, formed me, molded me, taught me; the person who loved me so much and who i adore and whose feet i kiss; the person who never ever wanted to let me leave Her; the person who is the very Center of my universe: my MISTRESS, did abandon me! Me, who was Her First Girl, Her pet slave - and why? Because She righteously felt deceived by my help towards this woman.
And even though it breaks my heart, and i still feel numb and devastated, i do understand Her reaction and know i deserved it. I'm sure though that She suffers as much as i do from this Her decision, because She still loves me as much as i still love Her. I just know it. But i disappointed Her way too much.
Even though one may think, it's just natural for a slave to be polite and helpful and comforting a person in need: in this special case it would have been most appropriate to just tell d*: "please leave me in peace, i don't want to be involved " and then leave the place asap after muting her. This would have shown real loyalty towards my Mistress. I know this now. Now, that it's too late.
Only Heaven knows how deeply i do regret this talk. But only Heavens know if i ever am forgiven.
I remember that i was warned months ago that d* might approach me, and that i should mute her - but either i forgot this warning or her name, or i was too nosy once again - i don't know anymore: i agreed to talk, and now i pay for it.
Nonetheless, and beyond all reason, i still hope Mistress will forgive me and take me back.
Jun 20, 2009
resignation
I couldn't tell my fiancee of what has happened - and until now He doesn't know about this blog yet. Still He is wondering what bothers me right now. But i couldn't tell Him...
It just hurts too much, i couldn't log into SL today. My shame and guilt is bigger than my addiction to SL.
I do hope though that (my) Mistress understands that i stayed off-line.
Just as i was distracting my mind writing, i got an off-line message of the woman i had talked with: she offered to intervene on my behalf.
I wasn't able to even react, my mind was drawn back to my devastating mistake, and my first reaction was that i just moved the mail into the junk folder.
I really do hope She doesn't or already didn't try to intervene, it would make everything worse. Though - what is worse than being abandoned by one's beloved Mistress? Abandoned by the center of one's universe? No i really couldn't go on-line today. :(
It just hurts too much, i couldn't log into SL today. My shame and guilt is bigger than my addiction to SL.
I do hope though that (my) Mistress understands that i stayed off-line.
Just as i was distracting my mind writing, i got an off-line message of the woman i had talked with: she offered to intervene on my behalf.
I wasn't able to even react, my mind was drawn back to my devastating mistake, and my first reaction was that i just moved the mail into the junk folder.
I really do hope She doesn't or already didn't try to intervene, it would make everything worse. Though - what is worse than being abandoned by one's beloved Mistress? Abandoned by the center of one's universe? No i really couldn't go on-line today. :(
Jun 19, 2009
Over?
I still can't believe it. It seems to be over. I ruined my life - my second Life at least.
Now i am abandoned - and i'm afraid there's no way back to the only person i love as much as i love my RL fiancee: my Mistress.
If She doesn't forgive me and accepts me again - what sense will it make to ever go to SL again?
I made the mistake to talk with a woman i shouldn't talk with; and believing this woman, i tried to comfort her because she seemed hurt and distraught.
Since i helped a friend in a similar case in RL (friends in divorce) by blaming the man even though he was also a friend of me ("sometimes people are dear friends even despite they do things one dislikes") i transfered this RL case onto the case this woman talked to me about, and ...
... well...
... re-reading the logs, my replies really could be understood as deceiving my Mistress - which i had never intended. She means the world for me, i would never intentionally deceive Her.
I thought i would never lose my loyalty to Mistress or fail to obey Her. But i know now: if i had been really obedient i would have ignored that woman, left her and muted her.
Unfortunately my Mistress learned about that i had a talk with that woman, and had me give Her the log of that dialog - it was in local chat anyway. And -- gosh was She mad at me! She still is.
I even had to detach my collar that shows that i am Her property. :(
I am devastated - beyond words.
Heart-broken, numb and shocked and crying all day in RL.
And i'm mad at me myself, because it was my own fault that forced my Mistress to disown me. It was me and my own damned stupidity and credulousness that ruined everything.
Against all reason i hope that my Mistress will forgive me and take me back ... For me, She will never be anything else than my Mistress.
Even though i'm not allowed to wear Her collar anymore, i still feel as Her slave after all: since i became Her slave She has become the center of my SL universe -- where shall i go to if She really insists that i have to leave? If she won't listen to my begging for a second chance?
All i can do now is showing Her that i still feel as Her slave, obeying Her, begging Her, hoping that She takes me back. I still love Her so very much.
...
I rather would suffer all the punishments possible through the RLV - if i only were allowed to wear Her collar again
Now i am abandoned - and i'm afraid there's no way back to the only person i love as much as i love my RL fiancee: my Mistress.
If She doesn't forgive me and accepts me again - what sense will it make to ever go to SL again?
I made the mistake to talk with a woman i shouldn't talk with; and believing this woman, i tried to comfort her because she seemed hurt and distraught.
Since i helped a friend in a similar case in RL (friends in divorce) by blaming the man even though he was also a friend of me ("sometimes people are dear friends even despite they do things one dislikes") i transfered this RL case onto the case this woman talked to me about, and ...
... well...
... re-reading the logs, my replies really could be understood as deceiving my Mistress - which i had never intended. She means the world for me, i would never intentionally deceive Her.
I thought i would never lose my loyalty to Mistress or fail to obey Her. But i know now: if i had been really obedient i would have ignored that woman, left her and muted her.
Unfortunately my Mistress learned about that i had a talk with that woman, and had me give Her the log of that dialog - it was in local chat anyway. And -- gosh was She mad at me! She still is.
I even had to detach my collar that shows that i am Her property. :(
I am devastated - beyond words.
Heart-broken, numb and shocked and crying all day in RL.
And i'm mad at me myself, because it was my own fault that forced my Mistress to disown me. It was me and my own damned stupidity and credulousness that ruined everything.
Against all reason i hope that my Mistress will forgive me and take me back ... For me, She will never be anything else than my Mistress.
Even though i'm not allowed to wear Her collar anymore, i still feel as Her slave after all: since i became Her slave She has become the center of my SL universe -- where shall i go to if She really insists that i have to leave? If she won't listen to my begging for a second chance?
All i can do now is showing Her that i still feel as Her slave, obeying Her, begging Her, hoping that She takes me back. I still love Her so very much.
...
I rather would suffer all the punishments possible through the RLV - if i only were allowed to wear Her collar again
Jun 16, 2009
At home again
it took a while to catch up here. Gosh it IS terrible to be disconnected from everyone.
Anyways, after 2 days of catching up by phone, chat, meeting people and in SL, its so good to be home again :)
I enjoyed my time in SL even though i couldn't spend much time with Mistress: her RL job and her other duties in SL didn't allow it. But it's not the quantity but the quality that counts - so i really cannot complain :)
Plus: I could start to build the chapel Misty had ordered and paid for. But well... from planned 35 prims I'm now at nearly 70 - and i'm still looking for the optimal textures
here's a rough draft (as i scribbled it down on paper):
Well, the real building does look different - but in general it's the same principle :) And, it has nothing to do anymore (except the size) with the first raw model i rezzed:
Oh by the way: this is on one of the 50x50 sky platforms above "Thorin's Land", a 4096sqm parcel at the North East corner of Temptations which is O/our home.
On the ground, there is a nice medieval house and (my) well, and a nice landscape including a hidden pier on the very corner with a little boat;
2000m above there is a platform which is my workshop where i build things as long as the prims allow it,
(and the shop will move to Tempting as soon as Mistress has time to deal with it)
on 4000m there is the prison and dungeon where there is a cross, and a cage and the kennel - and more if needed
- and the platforms at 1000m and 3000m are not used yet - no clue what Master Thorin needs them for.
Anyways, after 2 days of catching up by phone, chat, meeting people and in SL, its so good to be home again :)
I enjoyed my time in SL even though i couldn't spend much time with Mistress: her RL job and her other duties in SL didn't allow it. But it's not the quantity but the quality that counts - so i really cannot complain :)
Plus: I could start to build the chapel Misty had ordered and paid for. But well... from planned 35 prims I'm now at nearly 70 - and i'm still looking for the optimal textures
here's a rough draft (as i scribbled it down on paper):
Well, the real building does look different - but in general it's the same principle :) And, it has nothing to do anymore (except the size) with the first raw model i rezzed:
Oh by the way: this is on one of the 50x50 sky platforms above "Thorin's Land", a 4096sqm parcel at the North East corner of Temptations which is O/our home.
On the ground, there is a nice medieval house and (my) well, and a nice landscape including a hidden pier on the very corner with a little boat;
2000m above there is a platform which is my workshop where i build things as long as the prims allow it,
(and the shop will move to Tempting as soon as Mistress has time to deal with it)
on 4000m there is the prison and dungeon where there is a cross, and a cage and the kennel - and more if needed
- and the platforms at 1000m and 3000m are not used yet - no clue what Master Thorin needs them for.
Jun 14, 2009
Family Trip. Day 6: Saturday
... or: Coming Home
Oh my how have i waited for today! As in the last nights, i was awake very early - from 4am i was in the kitchen, smoking, then i went to bed again short before my parents woke up.
I really couldn't sleep anymore.
Anyways, after our good-bye visits Aunt, brother and cousin we had lunch, then my parents acompanied us to the train station in K**.
According to plan, we should arrive in Halle and have about 15 minutes untill the next train would depart - but our luck was bad: the train arrived with delay, 15 minutes after the scheduled time. Of course we didn't catch our train and had to wait for the next connection which was a bit less convenient: instead of changing trains 3 times from Halle, we had to change 5 times now - though the travel time was a half hour shorter. Though we departed from Halle more than one hour later, we arrived at home only 30 minutes later than on the original schedule.
Gosh what is to report from this kind of travel otherwise than having had good talks or a nap every once and then ... Anyways first thing i did after MAster Thorin and i arrived at home was calling my parents that we arrived safely, and putting all the food they gave us into the fridge.
Then, i asked Master Thorin if i could say hello to Mistress and onyx...
He was as tired as i was, and after a shower He kissed me, then went to bed, not wanting to mess around with a computer again for a while.
So it was me who checked the emails, and then i logged into SL.
After a while, onyx and Mistress came online as well and we spent a wonderful night. Oh i was so happy to see them again, it wasn't missing much and i would have cried of joy only because i was there with Mistress and onyx.
Gosh am i really that emotionally dependant of my Mistress? *sigh*
In RL i had to work hard to not laugh out loud when Mistress played with one man who came to see Her after we had a nice time.
This man, Master n**, tried to pretend to be a Gorean Master and a Dom, but had not enough dominance in Him to be equal to Her. After a few minutes i didn't think otherwise that the next thing he would do was to kneel and submit to Her... He didn't do that though - he left with an excuse. *smile*
Then, when i just started to have some strawberries at the desk - i use to have my cigarettes or my coffee or little snacks at the desk that i don't have to leave the keyboard for longer than a few seconds - Mistress gave onyx a task involving strawberries ... I'm still giggling as i write these lines when thinking about this task... *g* strawberries and cherries really are erotic fruits .
Anyway, the tears were flowing when onyx said her good-bye for the next two weeks: she will go to a vacation on Sunday. Even despite i envy her because i've never been where she's heading to, i am sad that she has to leave and will miss her very much.
But at least i could spend a night with her and see that everything was okay.
I realized tonight, that my true home is not only the place i live with Master Thorin in RL - but that it also is in SL as well, where my dear Mistress is all around me.
Oh my how have i waited for today! As in the last nights, i was awake very early - from 4am i was in the kitchen, smoking, then i went to bed again short before my parents woke up.
I really couldn't sleep anymore.
Anyways, after our good-bye visits Aunt, brother and cousin we had lunch, then my parents acompanied us to the train station in K**.
According to plan, we should arrive in Halle and have about 15 minutes untill the next train would depart - but our luck was bad: the train arrived with delay, 15 minutes after the scheduled time. Of course we didn't catch our train and had to wait for the next connection which was a bit less convenient: instead of changing trains 3 times from Halle, we had to change 5 times now - though the travel time was a half hour shorter. Though we departed from Halle more than one hour later, we arrived at home only 30 minutes later than on the original schedule.
Gosh what is to report from this kind of travel otherwise than having had good talks or a nap every once and then ... Anyways first thing i did after MAster Thorin and i arrived at home was calling my parents that we arrived safely, and putting all the food they gave us into the fridge.
Then, i asked Master Thorin if i could say hello to Mistress and onyx...
He was as tired as i was, and after a shower He kissed me, then went to bed, not wanting to mess around with a computer again for a while.
So it was me who checked the emails, and then i logged into SL.
After a while, onyx and Mistress came online as well and we spent a wonderful night. Oh i was so happy to see them again, it wasn't missing much and i would have cried of joy only because i was there with Mistress and onyx.
Gosh am i really that emotionally dependant of my Mistress? *sigh*
In RL i had to work hard to not laugh out loud when Mistress played with one man who came to see Her after we had a nice time.
This man, Master n**, tried to pretend to be a Gorean Master and a Dom, but had not enough dominance in Him to be equal to Her. After a few minutes i didn't think otherwise that the next thing he would do was to kneel and submit to Her... He didn't do that though - he left with an excuse. *smile*
Then, when i just started to have some strawberries at the desk - i use to have my cigarettes or my coffee or little snacks at the desk that i don't have to leave the keyboard for longer than a few seconds - Mistress gave onyx a task involving strawberries ... I'm still giggling as i write these lines when thinking about this task... *g* strawberries and cherries really are erotic fruits .
Anyway, the tears were flowing when onyx said her good-bye for the next two weeks: she will go to a vacation on Sunday. Even despite i envy her because i've never been where she's heading to, i am sad that she has to leave and will miss her very much.
But at least i could spend a night with her and see that everything was okay.
I realized tonight, that my true home is not only the place i live with Master Thorin in RL - but that it also is in SL as well, where my dear Mistress is all around me.
Jun 13, 2009
Family Trip. Day 4: Thursday
or, worrying and home-sick
Today i woke up at around 2:30am, after a real short sleep: If it was one hour, it was long. I was dreaming of Mistress and Onyx and had a feeling that something happened. Again I searched both our backpacks and my purse for the UMTS stick and cursed silently that i forgot it at home. I've never regretted it more, and missed both of them more than ever.
I couldn't fall asleep again immediately, so i went to the kitchen, the only room where smoking is allowed in the entire apartment (and only while its door is closed), smoked a cigarette, and began reading. I so hoped that Misty was okay and still my dear sister Onyx. I would miss her if she gave up or were released tonight. And i especially hoped that my Mistress was well and okay too. I love Her too much to not be bothered if something bad happened.
Nonetheless the book caught me finally and i forgot the time until i heard the door opening: Master Thorin came and wanted to smoke a cigarette as well: it was 7:00am now, and the sun was shining through the open window.
After that we went to bed again, and snuggling into his arms i finally fell asleep. Of course i was grumpy when my parents woke us up for breakfast.
When we accompanied my Dad to a visit at one of his doctors, Thorin was the driver of Dad's car. I went outside for a cigarette, and my Fiancee followed me.
He asked me what i were worried about and i told Him that i was thinking of Mistress and Onyx and that i was worrried that something might have happened. And i told Him that i was sad and angry about myself because i forgot the UMTS stick that could enable us to go on-line. Even though Master Thorin tried to calm me and said it were okay, such things could happen,and that no-one were perfect, i could tell that He was disappointed. Well, of all things He could expect me to think of the only thing that could connect me to one of my addictions: the Internet.
Even when one of my brothers came to see my parents in the afternoon, together with his wife and daughter, i still thought of my Mistress and Onyx, and when my niece talked to me about her past life in SL, i sighed and surprised the girl with telling her my name. *grin*
We've been on each other's friendslist since a few days after i saw her at the Mormon sim Adam-Ondi--Ahman, and we talked a bit about my friends on that place - but she admitted that she left SL lately, and even deleted her account because her SL relationship became a risk for her RL relationship.
This again made me think of my Mistress and Onyx again and i became sad, missing them.
It became impossible to change subject, and we talked until she and her parents left.
*sigh*
In this night i made a loooooong walk alone, and returned after midnight and drunk.
I so look forward to see my Mistress and Onyx again on Saturday: i missed them so much tonight, it literally hurted. Of course i also miss Rubina, and my friends on the Frankfurt sims and elsewhere as well - but not as much as i miss these two.
Today i woke up at around 2:30am, after a real short sleep: If it was one hour, it was long. I was dreaming of Mistress and Onyx and had a feeling that something happened. Again I searched both our backpacks and my purse for the UMTS stick and cursed silently that i forgot it at home. I've never regretted it more, and missed both of them more than ever.
I couldn't fall asleep again immediately, so i went to the kitchen, the only room where smoking is allowed in the entire apartment (and only while its door is closed), smoked a cigarette, and began reading. I so hoped that Misty was okay and still my dear sister Onyx. I would miss her if she gave up or were released tonight. And i especially hoped that my Mistress was well and okay too. I love Her too much to not be bothered if something bad happened.
Nonetheless the book caught me finally and i forgot the time until i heard the door opening: Master Thorin came and wanted to smoke a cigarette as well: it was 7:00am now, and the sun was shining through the open window.
After that we went to bed again, and snuggling into his arms i finally fell asleep. Of course i was grumpy when my parents woke us up for breakfast.
When we accompanied my Dad to a visit at one of his doctors, Thorin was the driver of Dad's car. I went outside for a cigarette, and my Fiancee followed me.
He asked me what i were worried about and i told Him that i was thinking of Mistress and Onyx and that i was worrried that something might have happened. And i told Him that i was sad and angry about myself because i forgot the UMTS stick that could enable us to go on-line. Even though Master Thorin tried to calm me and said it were okay, such things could happen,and that no-one were perfect, i could tell that He was disappointed. Well, of all things He could expect me to think of the only thing that could connect me to one of my addictions: the Internet.
Even when one of my brothers came to see my parents in the afternoon, together with his wife and daughter, i still thought of my Mistress and Onyx, and when my niece talked to me about her past life in SL, i sighed and surprised the girl with telling her my name. *grin*
We've been on each other's friendslist since a few days after i saw her at the Mormon sim Adam-Ondi--Ahman, and we talked a bit about my friends on that place - but she admitted that she left SL lately, and even deleted her account because her SL relationship became a risk for her RL relationship.
This again made me think of my Mistress and Onyx again and i became sad, missing them.
It became impossible to change subject, and we talked until she and her parents left.
*sigh*
In this night i made a loooooong walk alone, and returned after midnight and drunk.
I so look forward to see my Mistress and Onyx again on Saturday: i missed them so much tonight, it literally hurted. Of course i also miss Rubina, and my friends on the Frankfurt sims and elsewhere as well - but not as much as i miss these two.
Family Trip. Day 2: Monday
or, a postponed night
After one hour of walking, we had a first break. All streets were empty and dark, and my Master saw my puppy eyes, so he gave me a kiss. But he also pulled a leash out of His backpack and connected it to my collar - and walked me for the next 4 blocks.
Oh what a great feeling!
I even crossed my wrists in my back as if i was bound, to fully immerse into it.
Gosh, i felt so great and proud and even wished to be seen like that, despite knowing that Master Thorin did this only because the streets were empty and dark.
And it immediately reminded me of the feeling i have when Mistress walks me and Onyx which made me cherish being walked by Her even more.
Short before we arrived on one of the main streets though, this short trip into dream-world was over. On Main Station we spent the night in a lounge there, having coffee and chatting away, then we bought some rolls and went with one of the first trains to K**. Arrived there, we walked the two miles to my parents home in R*** and woke them up - only to get to bed after having breakfast with them :)
Finally my parents woke us up for supper, then enjoying a bath in the bath tub (at home we have only a shower but not a bathtub), then we talked much unto deep in the night to catch up with everythingin each others' lives. Finally we called it a day and went to bed when my parents did.
After one hour of walking, we had a first break. All streets were empty and dark, and my Master saw my puppy eyes, so he gave me a kiss. But he also pulled a leash out of His backpack and connected it to my collar - and walked me for the next 4 blocks.
Oh what a great feeling!
I even crossed my wrists in my back as if i was bound, to fully immerse into it.
Gosh, i felt so great and proud and even wished to be seen like that, despite knowing that Master Thorin did this only because the streets were empty and dark.
And it immediately reminded me of the feeling i have when Mistress walks me and Onyx which made me cherish being walked by Her even more.
Short before we arrived on one of the main streets though, this short trip into dream-world was over. On Main Station we spent the night in a lounge there, having coffee and chatting away, then we bought some rolls and went with one of the first trains to K**. Arrived there, we walked the two miles to my parents home in R*** and woke them up - only to get to bed after having breakfast with them :)
Finally my parents woke us up for supper, then enjoying a bath in the bath tub (at home we have only a shower but not a bathtub), then we talked much unto deep in the night to catch up with everythingin each others' lives. Finally we called it a day and went to bed when my parents did.
Family Trip. Day 1: Sunday
...or, a non-arrival
As i mentioned, i couldn't sleep well - so i logged into blogger.com and wrote my journal blog, only discontinued by packing our baggage or by preparing O/our meal.
Anyways, when Master Thorin said it's time, i messaged my Mistress to say Good-bye again and to send greetings to Onyx as well.
We went to the election, voted for the party of our choice, then went to the tramway to catch our train.
Unfortunately the building works in our home town delayed the arrival of the tramway at the Main Station, so we didn't catch the train we wanted to catch, and Master Thorin had to re-plan everything and called my parents that we would arrive later: instead of 22:00 at the close town K** (just 2 miles away from R***, where they live) we now would arrive at 22:40 at the main station of the much bigger town Halle, 18 miles away..
They agreed that we would be picked up at a Park&Ride place on a suburb of Halle, and we only had to go there by tramway (including changing tramways at the market place)
Well... the travel was quite event-less, as boring as a travel with 5x changing trains can be. Okay we had a few nice talks with other travellers - and one time we had to run to catch the next train - but in general it was quite eventless...
... until we arrived in Halle.
We just went off the train when my cell-phone rang: my Dad told me that he didn't feel well enough to drive and asked a neighbor to go pick us up. Well, since this didn't seem to be a problem we went to this suburb.
When we arrived in that suburb near midnight, there was no car on the parking lot at the tramway station except a few which had the letters of Halle on their licence plates.
So my fiancee and Master called my parents to ask what happened. After 20 minutes they called back: the neighbor who had agreed to drive to Halle to pick us up got involved in an accident and had to wait for the police to arrive.
Sometimes things really get tough :(
So my Beloved decided that we would return to the Main Station to spend the night there.
But on top of it all, the tramway schedule read that no train would depart until 4:50. Hence, we had to walk.
Both we have spent years in this town, so we knew the shortest way to get to the Main Station, to go there almost as straight as the crow flies.
As i mentioned, i couldn't sleep well - so i logged into blogger.com and wrote my journal blog, only discontinued by packing our baggage or by preparing O/our meal.
Anyways, when Master Thorin said it's time, i messaged my Mistress to say Good-bye again and to send greetings to Onyx as well.
We went to the election, voted for the party of our choice, then went to the tramway to catch our train.
Unfortunately the building works in our home town delayed the arrival of the tramway at the Main Station, so we didn't catch the train we wanted to catch, and Master Thorin had to re-plan everything and called my parents that we would arrive later: instead of 22:00 at the close town K** (just 2 miles away from R***, where they live) we now would arrive at 22:40 at the main station of the much bigger town Halle, 18 miles away..
They agreed that we would be picked up at a Park&Ride place on a suburb of Halle, and we only had to go there by tramway (including changing tramways at the market place)
Well... the travel was quite event-less, as boring as a travel with 5x changing trains can be. Okay we had a few nice talks with other travellers - and one time we had to run to catch the next train - but in general it was quite eventless...
... until we arrived in Halle.
We just went off the train when my cell-phone rang: my Dad told me that he didn't feel well enough to drive and asked a neighbor to go pick us up. Well, since this didn't seem to be a problem we went to this suburb.
When we arrived in that suburb near midnight, there was no car on the parking lot at the tramway station except a few which had the letters of Halle on their licence plates.
So my fiancee and Master called my parents to ask what happened. After 20 minutes they called back: the neighbor who had agreed to drive to Halle to pick us up got involved in an accident and had to wait for the police to arrive.
Sometimes things really get tough :(
So my Beloved decided that we would return to the Main Station to spend the night there.
But on top of it all, the tramway schedule read that no train would depart until 4:50. Hence, we had to walk.
Both we have spent years in this town, so we knew the shortest way to get to the Main Station, to go there almost as straight as the crow flies.
Jun 7, 2009
a break from SL :(
At the moment Master Thorin and i prepare for leaving: right after voting at the elections for the European "Parliament", W/we will go to the train station to travel to my parents :(
Though I am glad to see my parents again after almost half a year, I also will terribly miss my Mistress and my new sister Onyx.
Though I am glad to see my parents again after almost half a year, I also will terribly miss my Mistress and my new sister Onyx.
Jun 4, 2009
Why English?
Some of you may ask: Why the heck does this girl write in English if she states to come from Germany?
Well, yes I do come from Germany, and German is my first language - and maybe some of my next blogs even may be written in German (don't know yet).
But, since half of my friends do speak English as first language, and most of the other half of my friends at least understand English as a second or third language, I use this as a possibility to better focus on what I want to say.
How often does it happen that you use slangwords and undescribable abbreviations in a journal when you write it in your first language, or that you use "short message style"? Since I want to avoid this, I am writing this blog in my second language.
Sometimes English blogs are like in short message style or in a kind of Pidgin-English (this fits for German blogs too, in similar ways): then it looks like Lolcats: "y r u doing tis?"
By the way, i wrote my first story in English. Actually i am re-writing it after i saw the necessity to edit and re-write it while i translated it into German. :)
Oh and why do i use the lower-case "i" instead of upper-case "I" when speaking about myself? Well ... maybe you figure this out while reading my blog entries ;)
Well, yes I do come from Germany, and German is my first language - and maybe some of my next blogs even may be written in German (don't know yet).
But, since half of my friends do speak English as first language, and most of the other half of my friends at least understand English as a second or third language, I use this as a possibility to better focus on what I want to say.
How often does it happen that you use slangwords and undescribable abbreviations in a journal when you write it in your first language, or that you use "short message style"? Since I want to avoid this, I am writing this blog in my second language.
Sometimes English blogs are like in short message style or in a kind of Pidgin-English (this fits for German blogs too, in similar ways): then it looks like Lolcats: "y r u doing tis?"
By the way, i wrote my first story in English. Actually i am re-writing it after i saw the necessity to edit and re-write it while i translated it into German. :)
Oh and why do i use the lower-case "i" instead of upper-case "I" when speaking about myself? Well ... maybe you figure this out while reading my blog entries ;)
Jun 1, 2009
Who is gem?
First name: eighthdwarf (with a lower e as initial)
Second name: Checchinato
Nicknames: eight, 8, gem
day of birth in SL: 2008-02-07
day of birth in RL: 1973-02-17
race of the avatar: human, "caucasian"
gender: female
size in SL (without shoes): 5'3" (1,60m)
Well, in Real Life, my name is not eighthdwarf, and also neither Checchinato nor gem - but since i put so much of my RL personality into my SL personality, there is no reason to know my real name...
But anyway: in Real Life i am a smoker , a coffein junkie, and i like to have a glass of beer or wine every once in a while. Like in SL i like to meet friends - and talk and write in both languages, German and English likewise. Actually i write a lot: at the time being, i re-write a story of mine with the working title "Involuntary Females". I think I will just title it after it's main character "Jona".
Like in SL, i am submissive in RL as well. In RL, i am the sub of my partner, who is known in SL as Thorin Mantel. :) but this is not about RL, only as much as my RL influences SL and vice versa.
Anyways, in SL i am the slave of a Mistress: Lexi Leiner, a very loving and caring woman who earns her money via telephone. I submitted to her on 2008-05-07 and proudly wear Her collar. After 6 months under Her loving rule, i gave Her the gift of total power over me: i installed the RLV. This makes all the normal abilities in SL (like sit/unsit, chat, IM, see, hear, fly, walk, build etc - even access to the own inventory), a privilege my Mistress allows me to use and can always take away from me.
In SL i help people in a CG (Community Gateway, aka Newbie Area), spend time with my Mistress or with friends, dance, and build things that i try to sell under my own label "gem's". Things like these:
Second name: Checchinato
Nicknames: eight, 8, gem
day of birth in SL: 2008-02-07
day of birth in RL: 1973-02-17
race of the avatar: human, "caucasian"
gender: female
size in SL (without shoes): 5'3" (1,60m)
Well, in Real Life, my name is not eighthdwarf, and also neither Checchinato nor gem - but since i put so much of my RL personality into my SL personality, there is no reason to know my real name...
But anyway: in Real Life i am a smoker , a coffein junkie, and i like to have a glass of beer or wine every once in a while. Like in SL i like to meet friends - and talk and write in both languages, German and English likewise. Actually i write a lot: at the time being, i re-write a story of mine with the working title "Involuntary Females". I think I will just title it after it's main character "Jona".
Like in SL, i am submissive in RL as well. In RL, i am the sub of my partner, who is known in SL as Thorin Mantel. :) but this is not about RL, only as much as my RL influences SL and vice versa.
Anyways, in SL i am the slave of a Mistress: Lexi Leiner, a very loving and caring woman who earns her money via telephone. I submitted to her on 2008-05-07 and proudly wear Her collar. After 6 months under Her loving rule, i gave Her the gift of total power over me: i installed the RLV. This makes all the normal abilities in SL (like sit/unsit, chat, IM, see, hear, fly, walk, build etc - even access to the own inventory), a privilege my Mistress allows me to use and can always take away from me.
In SL i help people in a CG (Community Gateway, aka Newbie Area), spend time with my Mistress or with friends, dance, and build things that i try to sell under my own label "gem's". Things like these:
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