4 YEARS !!!

Is there even one M/s relationship in SL that has been that long in a row?
It was four years ago that a bored girl went into a bar, and by chance stepped on the way that  is the most awesome life-style on Earth. As I wrote long time ago: Limit girl or how gem was born


Thank you very much, dear Mistress, for been with me during all these years. For Your leadership, Your teaching, Your faith in me, Your encouragement. For the dedication, trust, love, and inspiration You've given and taught me.
After all these years, I am still both thankful and proud to be Your slave.

Unfree, no matter what

In the blog Unfrei, which is written by a really devoted Gorean Kajira roleplayer, I just read a quotation that made me smile.

Can you truly give up the things you need to, to be someone's slave? Would you put yourself last, or even second? If you want something, and you are denied it… can you let it go and trust that it was for the best? Can you learn, relearn, and train even when you feel like it's hopeless? Will you still be a slave, and think of others when your mood sucks? Will you still be a slave even as tears course down your cheeks while you are punished or reprimanded? Will you still feel like being a slave when you are told he doesn't want to have you near him right now? Will you still feel like a slave if he does not touch you when you wish, but when he wishes…. Will you still want to be a slave as you toss and turn at night, your desires unmet because he said no? Will you still want to be a Gorean slave when he decides to give someone else the attention you think you deserve or that you crave?

I realized that I can  answer these questions (even though i would have to replace Master with Mistress, he with she, and discard the word Gorean), all these questions happily with  YES, YES, YES!!!
Since May 08, I've already shown that I am the slave of my Mistress no matter what, and willingly so, andt I will show anytime again that I can do it, that I not only can be, but already and for ever am, for better or worse, my Mistress' slave. - until She decides to disown me.

One last question...
How romantic does slavery sound now?

It doesn't sound romantic at all, that's true. But for me, it feels just right!


Merry Christmas my dear Mistress, and my dear few readers.

A wonderful Day

Have i mentioned before that my Mistress is a "switch"?
Hm... Please forgive me, i forgot...
Well, for explanation: a switch is someone who needs to be both: dominant and submissive. And as much as my Mistress enjoys being a Mistress, she enjoys to serve as a slave. And She likes the thrill of being "sold" at an auction.
By such an event She has found a new Master for a week now - by contract this means 20 hrs plus what she is willing to add.

Short after i logged in and greeted Her, She tp'd me to His place. Master Vincent is a nice and experienced dominant man who i quickly felt comfortable with, so i didn't bother when He started teasing Mistress sexually and asked me questions i would have blushed like a tomato if someone else had asked them.
Suddenly i was told to also start teasing Mistress and to undress, and since Mistress said it were up to me to follow or to say stop, i decided to obey. When did i ever have the chance to tease my Mistress before? Even sexually? *grins mischievously*

Wow it WENT far.
Short time after we began, Master Vincent excused Himself and vanished, leaving us alone. With time, it went so far, i would have orgasmed in RL if Master Thorin (my RL fiancee) hadn't come home from His training hours just in the very minute before i could.
**phew - do you know the feeling when you are just on the edge to total bliss, and you get disturbed? An ice-cold shower is nothing compared to it (though needed immediately)**
And *wow* the REAL high you only get being with another girl - men are never able to drive you this high: women just know a female body too well *blush*

I really don't know if Master Thorin would like the idea of his RL girl being sexual with another girl, especially with my Mistress. But He never scolded me for things that i did to please my Mistress -- shouldn't a good slave do anything to please her Mistress? *grin*


Anyways ...
Short time after Mistress and i went home to Temptations, Misty, a former resident there, submitted to my Mistress. Misty has told me for days how she envied me for my life as a slave, so ...
well...
as soon as my Mistress had time (being a sim-owner and having a RL job on the phone does interrupt sometimes) She talked with her, then send me to get her a collar, and accepted her as Her new slave. Wow ..
Yes i am excited. YAY!! Now i have a sister again!
Now i am first girl and will have to help Mistress teach this new girl :) I'm so looking forward to it!

a few thoughts about being a slave

I consider myself a slave, slave of Mistress Lexi Leiner , Her property. A slave with privileges though, but nonetheless a slave.

You might now ask: What? A slave? Isn't slavery illegal?

And yes, besides the BDSM context of Safe, Sane, Consensual, slavery is illegal almost everywhere. In some few countries even despite of it.
BDSM means: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, SadoMasochism - and is for some not only a game but a life-style. But nonetheless everything happening in this context is CONSENSUAL - well, at least it's supposed to be, per definition.

Unlike the historical slavery, being a slave in M/s (Master/slave, the intensification of D/s (Dominant/submissive)) relationships have nothing to do with forced obediance, or disconsent. It is a sign of TRUST and LOVE to the Master or Mistress to decide not to be their part-time sub anymore but their 24/7 slave, and means a high degree of COMMITMENT on both sides. It's not only that you as a slave are supposed to be available to serve on every whim of your Master or Mistress, it is also that your Master or Mistress has to be available to serve your need to serve them, and not all of them can handle this RESPONSIBILITY.
And yes, you become property, like a pet - only that you are a human being. And which owner would abandon their pet? Only people who can't handle this responsibility.
To become a slave is a decision of free will, which must be considered thoroughly before going the way. It can become a slippery slope with no return to the former normalcy of being an "emancipated woman" - and without responsible guiding it even might become a mental and emotional dependence, a bondage that binds you more effectively to your Master/Mistress than any chain and restraint can do.

I must say my Mistress is very caring and shows very much responsibility - and until now She doesn't even know about this blog, so it's my real, unaffected opinion ;)
Well, as much as She dislikes to be without me, Her gem, as much She wishes to prevent Her gem from any damage, be it emotionally or otherwise - even from damage She might cause by irresponsible behaviour. We quite often do "girl-to-girl talks" or other "Out of Character" (OOC) things that She can relax from this responsibility for a while.
I try to serve her any way i'm able to, be it running errands, be it listening, be it things like moving stuff around or making textures for boxes, or just sitting there to be shown off... whatever pleases Her, i do. And willingly so.
And when She's not around i try to please Her, to make Her proud of me. **smiles: here's the "good dog" comparison again** (edited to repair the link)

Anyways, since i'm wearing Her collar (means, the collar She gave me, and to which i added Her as Owner), the most content moments during times i did not spend with Her were when other Doms said to me things like "you may tell your Mistress you made her proud" or "if you weren't already owned i would be happy to own you"...

What does it mean to be a slave apart of the status of being property?
Well, it begins with the training. As a trainee sub, i didn't have a collar: i had to use a folder with poses and animations to be able to kneel, to karta, to sit in tower or stand in shacklestand. Poses and animations that sometimes were affected by the AO i was wearing, so i had to switch the AO off while using them - so using each of the poses became a deliberate decision in favor of serving.
Thus, serving as a slave means OBEDIANCE and COMMITMENT to your Master or Mistress: the wish to please them, even despite having no collar that does the poses for you. And since They are in control of your collar, you should be able to 100% TRUST your Master or Mistress. If you can't, leave and search for someone else to surrender yourself to, someone you can trust enough. D/s (and M/s) is not abuse or exploiting, it's a special way of LOVE and DEVOTION.

Then, POLITENESS and RESPECT: As a slave, i am property, so i have to be HUMBLE: a "hi missy, howyadoing" is just wrong.
All non-slaves are Mister and Miss (beginning with upper case M as a sign of respect), or Sir/Master or Miss if they are in the lifestyle.
And especially your Master or Mistress is not just the person in the pub next street, but your Owner, which means much more than your Boss at work, since your boss doesn't own you.
Would you greet your Boss with "Hi, howdy buddy?" - I guess not.

I can say "hi" to my friends when i am dismissed and spend my spare-time, or on PG sims to mix and match - and even with this "OOC talk" it's possible to remain respectful and polite - but when i stroll around on sims that belong to the Life-style, or when i meet people who are into BDSM, i quickly switch into my "IC talk" again, and it's Mister/Sir and Miss until they tell me they don't wish to be greeted this way.
The following is another proof for the way that being a slave means to be always polite and respectful:

[2008/06/06 7:19] jake D**: I am interested in your manner, so polite
[2008/06/06 7:19] eighthdwarf Checchinato: thank you, Mister jake... I'm trying to learn and keep it up.
[2008/06/06 7:20] jake D**: have you found your way into a Dom/sub relationship? I ask as that is very typical in that area.

This happened short before my Mistress decided that i was finished with training, and collared me.
What else does it mean to be a slave: Well, it's not your part to put yourself into attention, but the part of your Mistress or Master - if they wish you to be the center of attention, they will place you there; if they don't, you have to wait until you are called. I got a few times of "kennel time" to learn that lesson well. Don't be over-eager, rather keep PATIENCE and wait for being called. Otherwise you get enough time to wait for being allowed to be in the presence of your Master or Mistress - because this also is a privilege they give you.



Speaking of privileges: since i installed the RLV, i can call everything exept the ability to log off and on a privilege my Mistress allows me to have and easily could take away. I am under Her total control, every single moment i spend in SL. The RL expression for it is TPE, Total Power Exchange: i gave my Mistress total power over me, she can take all abilities away from me if she likes, even the ability to chat or receive messages, or see names and locations, to see at all, to hear, to tp or to access my inventory - to name only a few.
And my Mistress doesn't have to proof anymore that i can trust Her, i wouldn't have installed this viewer after long consideration if i hadn't trusted Her back then.

By the way, in a few days i've been in Her service for 13 months. And guess what? I never regretted even one day that i submitted to Her.
Yes, i really love my Mistress.